1
00:00:57,944 --> 00:01:01,573
"When two guys pull together,
it's teamwork!"

2
00:01:02,582 --> 00:01:06,245
"In foul or sunny weather, it's teamwork!"

3
00:01:07,254 --> 00:01:10,849
"What does it take to make
any business climb?"

4
00:01:10,924 --> 00:01:14,553
"You'll find it takes teamwork every time"

5
00:01:15,362 --> 00:01:18,490
"Incidentally,
your jokes'll kill the yokels"

6
00:01:18,598 --> 00:01:20,088
"It's teamwork!"

7
00:01:21,568 --> 00:01:25,265
"I love your hokey vocals, it's teamwork!"

8
00:01:26,239 --> 00:01:28,503
"Like Fred Astaire and Ginger and..."

9
00:01:28,575 --> 00:01:33,603
"Twice as sleek, we'll give 'em
that teamwork, cheek to cheek!"

10
00:01:34,915 --> 00:01:39,409
"Here we are, just like in Zanzibar"

11
00:01:39,486 --> 00:01:41,886
"Still nothin', still a star!"

12
00:01:41,955 --> 00:01:44,515
"That's quite a stab from old flab!"

13
00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:49,151
"They always pay us plenty for teamwork!"

14
00:01:50,130 --> 00:01:52,291
"We split it 80-20"

15
00:01:52,365 --> 00:01:54,959
- That's teamwork?
- Yours is tax-free!

16
00:01:55,035 --> 00:01:58,630
"When others start to part
and go off the beam"

17
00:01:58,705 --> 00:02:00,536
"Like Siamese brothers"

18
00:02:00,941 --> 00:02:04,638
"Like Siamese brothers"

19
00:02:04,711 --> 00:02:08,772
"We'll be on each other's team!"

20
00:02:29,069 --> 00:02:32,869
"No fuss about the billing, it's teamwork!"

21
00:02:36,977 --> 00:02:40,811
"The smallest type is thrilling,
it's teamwork!"

22
00:02:44,618 --> 00:02:48,315
"Although we hold each other in low esteem"

23
00:02:48,388 --> 00:02:50,549
"We're loaded with teamwork"

24
00:02:50,690 --> 00:02:52,817
"What's life without teamwork?"

25
00:02:52,926 --> 00:02:57,090
"Unless you've got teamwork,
there's no team!"

26
00:04:45,405 --> 00:04:47,669
This is Hong Kong.

27
00:04:48,141 --> 00:04:52,134
A sprawling dragon nestled
on the soft underbelly of China.

28
00:04:53,013 --> 00:04:55,413
The flapping sails of its ancient junks...

29
00:04:55,482 --> 00:04:58,542
...form a glittering gateway to the Orient.

30
00:04:59,219 --> 00:05:00,743
Yes, Hong Kong.

31
00:05:00,820 --> 00:05:03,983
Where a teeming population
crowd its narrow streets...

32
00:05:04,057 --> 00:05:07,356
...while its people enjoy
the simple pleasures of life.

33
00:05:08,194 --> 00:05:09,422
Smoking.

34
00:05:09,763 --> 00:05:10,821
Eating.

35
00:05:11,064 --> 00:05:12,190
Laughing.

36
00:05:12,432 --> 00:05:13,865
Scratching.

37
00:05:14,834 --> 00:05:16,495
Sports-car racing.

38
00:05:17,871 --> 00:05:22,240
Yet beneath this placid facade,
Hong Kong wears another face.

39
00:05:22,542 --> 00:05:26,808
The inscrutable, sinister face
of mystery and intrigue.

40
00:05:27,180 --> 00:05:29,740
This typically congested oriental street...

41
00:05:29,816 --> 00:05:33,252
...conceals American
secret-intelligence headquarters...

42
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,811
...where a top security agent
was summoned to hear...

43
00:05:35,889 --> 00:05:37,754
...some desperate information.

44
00:05:37,824 --> 00:05:40,884
Information which indicated
that the destiny of the world...

45
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,326
...dangled by the merest thread.

46
00:05:43,596 --> 00:05:45,029
I got over as fast as could.

47
00:05:45,098 --> 00:05:46,793
Okay, let's hear about it.

48
00:05:46,866 --> 00:05:48,959
- You sure you haven't made a mistake?
- No, sir.

49
00:05:49,035 --> 00:05:52,493
You're sure the Russians have sent a man
around the moon in a spaceship?

50
00:05:52,639 --> 00:05:53,697
Not one man, sir, two.

51
00:05:53,773 --> 00:05:54,797
- Two?
- Yes, sir.

52
00:05:54,874 --> 00:05:56,637
And you say they sound like Americans?

53
00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:58,473
Just listen to this.

54
00:05:59,479 --> 00:06:00,844
Harry, is this fantastic?

55
00:06:00,914 --> 00:06:02,142
It's the only way to travel.

56
00:06:02,215 --> 00:06:03,239
What's our speed?

57
00:06:03,316 --> 00:06:06,217
About 23,000 miles an hour,
and we're parked.

58
00:06:07,854 --> 00:06:11,312
Now, why would they want
their astronauts to sound American?

59
00:06:11,391 --> 00:06:13,188
Russian humor, I suppose.

60
00:06:13,259 --> 00:06:15,454
Just another way of rubbing our noses in it.

61
00:06:15,528 --> 00:06:17,462
Then why haven't they announced it?

62
00:06:17,530 --> 00:06:19,930
It's obvious,
they haven't recovered their men yet.

63
00:06:19,999 --> 00:06:21,466
And their path of descent?

64
00:06:21,534 --> 00:06:24,367
Somewhere in the neighborhood of Hong Kong.

65
00:06:25,271 --> 00:06:26,329
Yes?

66
00:06:27,107 --> 00:06:29,507
Yes. Bring her in.

67
00:06:30,443 --> 00:06:32,274
Young lady outside, somewhat hysterical.

68
00:06:32,345 --> 00:06:35,041
Claims to know something about all this.

69
00:06:36,015 --> 00:06:37,915
Take your hands off me.

70
00:06:37,984 --> 00:06:40,418
Look, you've simply got to help me!

71
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:43,012
Those men you're looking for
are in terrible trouble.

72
00:06:43,089 --> 00:06:46,889
If you don't do something about it,
they'll be dead within the hour.

73
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,326
The two Russians?

74
00:06:49,429 --> 00:06:51,761
They're not Russians. They're Americans.

75
00:06:51,831 --> 00:06:54,265
- And you know them?
- Of course I know them!

76
00:06:54,334 --> 00:06:57,303
- Who are they?
- Harry Turner and Chester Babcock.

77
00:06:58,104 --> 00:06:59,867
Turner and Babcock?

78
00:07:00,306 --> 00:07:01,671
Say, don't we know those names?

79
00:07:01,741 --> 00:07:03,231
A couple of ex-vaudevillians, sir.

80
00:07:03,309 --> 00:07:06,836
They're wanted for fraud by practically
every country in the Far East.

81
00:07:06,980 --> 00:07:11,110
And you mean to tell me these are the men
the Russians have sent round the moon?

82
00:07:11,184 --> 00:07:12,845
They were not sent by the Russians.

83
00:07:12,919 --> 00:07:15,752
- Certainly you're not suggesting...
- Nor the Americans.

84
00:07:16,022 --> 00:07:18,923
- Then who sent them?
- The Third Echelon.

85
00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:22,359
- The Third what?
- A third force.

86
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:25,930
More desperate, more knowledgeable,
and infinitely more dangerous...

87
00:07:25,999 --> 00:07:28,092
...then either the Russians
or the Americans.

88
00:07:28,168 --> 00:07:30,398
How do you know of this force?

89
00:07:31,004 --> 00:07:33,837
Because until yesterday, I was a part of it.

90
00:07:34,774 --> 00:07:36,639
Look, you expect me to believe...

91
00:07:36,709 --> 00:07:39,200
...that these phonies
could be made into astronauts...

92
00:07:39,279 --> 00:07:41,770
...then sent round the moon
by some mysterious force...

93
00:07:41,848 --> 00:07:44,078
...more powerful than either us
or the Russians?

94
00:07:44,150 --> 00:07:47,119
Sir, I know it's incredible,
but you must believe me.

95
00:07:47,187 --> 00:07:48,950
Now, please listen to me.

96
00:07:50,023 --> 00:07:53,015
It all started in Calcutta
about 10 days ago.

97
00:07:53,626 --> 00:07:57,323
Turner and Babcock were involved
in the latest of their frauds.

98
00:07:57,397 --> 00:07:59,865
As usual it was involved with space.

99
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:01,426
Hurry.

100
00:08:01,501 --> 00:08:04,993
Buy your tickets on the outside.
Get your stock on the inside.

101
00:08:05,205 --> 00:08:08,834
See the thrilling demonstration
of the one, the only...

102
00:08:08,908 --> 00:08:12,605
...the original, intercontinental,
interspatial, interplanetary...

103
00:08:12,679 --> 00:08:14,340
...Fly-lt-Yourself kit.

104
00:08:14,414 --> 00:08:16,814
Be the first man on your block
into outer space.

105
00:08:16,883 --> 00:08:19,681
Fly to the moon. Stake a claim. Now, hurry.

106
00:08:19,752 --> 00:08:22,687
What is it, boy? Oh, yeah?

107
00:08:23,723 --> 00:08:25,691
Oh, well, get your tickets!

108
00:08:25,758 --> 00:08:29,091
The demonstration starts immediately.
Now, hurry!

109
00:08:33,433 --> 00:08:35,060
Hey, this thing's going to work fine.

110
00:08:35,134 --> 00:08:37,466
How about that brave native
we hired to fly it?

111
00:08:37,537 --> 00:08:39,869
- We've got a great crowd out there,
Chester. - Yeah?

112
00:08:39,939 --> 00:08:43,670
This is the biggest thing we've ever pulled.
Let's try on the helmet.

113
00:08:43,743 --> 00:08:46,439
- There we are!
- That fits nice, doesn't it?

114
00:08:46,779 --> 00:08:49,646
Look at that. Let's try the jacket.
Look at that material!

115
00:08:49,716 --> 00:08:50,876
Give me that good right arm.

116
00:08:50,950 --> 00:08:53,282
Is that native gonna love that?
He's gonna...

117
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,585
Here we go, now.

118
00:08:55,655 --> 00:08:57,145
Well, wait. What are you doing?

119
00:08:57,223 --> 00:08:58,622
We're gonna try on the pants.

120
00:08:58,691 --> 00:08:59,783
What about the native?

121
00:08:59,859 --> 00:09:02,453
You don't want to keep
400 paid-up stockholders waiting.

122
00:09:02,529 --> 00:09:05,692
- Waiting for what?
- The maiden flight of Fly-lt-Yourself.

123
00:09:05,832 --> 00:09:08,096
And who's going to fly the maiden flight?

124
00:09:08,167 --> 00:09:09,327
- You are.
- I am?

125
00:09:09,402 --> 00:09:11,768
The brave native flew.
You're all we've got left.

126
00:09:11,838 --> 00:09:14,306
I'm all I've got left,
and I won't spread it around.

127
00:09:14,374 --> 00:09:15,773
A flash about Fly-lt-Yourself.

128
00:09:15,842 --> 00:09:17,173
- What?
- Fly it yourself.

129
00:09:17,243 --> 00:09:18,505
Now, Ches boy...

130
00:09:18,578 --> 00:09:20,739
"Ches boy!" All of a sudden,
I'm "Ches boy."

131
00:09:20,813 --> 00:09:23,304
Every time you want me to risk my life,
I'm "Ches boy."

132
00:09:23,383 --> 00:09:25,476
- Don't blow a gasket.
- Let me say one thing.

133
00:09:25,552 --> 00:09:27,383
- You know I hated to ask you.
- "Ches boy!"

134
00:09:27,453 --> 00:09:31,082
- I didn't want to ask you.
- I can see the tears forming in your wallet.

135
00:09:31,157 --> 00:09:34,422
Only one thing keeps me from going up
and flying that thing myself.

136
00:09:34,494 --> 00:09:36,359
- I know. You're chicken.
- No, Ches...

137
00:09:36,429 --> 00:09:39,125
Let me say one thing.
I'm as chicken as you. Chickener.

138
00:09:39,198 --> 00:09:40,825
Chester, the clothes won't fit me.

139
00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:42,492
Okay, we'll make a few alterations.

140
00:09:42,569 --> 00:09:43,661
What're you doing?

141
00:09:43,736 --> 00:09:45,704
There. We'll have your head reblocked...

142
00:09:45,772 --> 00:09:47,797
...pump you up a little bit
and you're ready.

143
00:09:47,874 --> 00:09:50,035
And I'll cheer. I'll be on the ground.

144
00:09:50,109 --> 00:09:52,373
You know that I want to go, but I can't.

145
00:09:52,445 --> 00:09:54,913
- Why not?
- I've got to be on the ground.

146
00:09:54,981 --> 00:09:56,243
- What for?
- For the landing.

147
00:09:56,316 --> 00:09:58,716
For the public relations
and the press and magazines.

148
00:09:58,785 --> 00:10:01,379
And the splints and the plasma. No, not me.

149
00:10:01,454 --> 00:10:03,581
Get another pigeon. Not me, boy. No, sir.

150
00:10:03,656 --> 00:10:05,817
All right, if that's the way you feel
about it.

151
00:10:05,892 --> 00:10:07,826
That's the way I feel about it.

152
00:10:07,894 --> 00:10:12,490
All those 400 paid-up stockholders,
all that loot. Gonna blow it.

153
00:10:12,565 --> 00:10:14,396
Blow it? Why don't we take a powder?

154
00:10:14,467 --> 00:10:15,832
Gaze.

155
00:10:17,770 --> 00:10:20,364
They're here to see
the people get their money's worth...

156
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,135
...or their money back.

157
00:10:22,208 --> 00:10:25,041
If only I could get my hands
on that brave native...

158
00:10:25,111 --> 00:10:26,305
...l'd go with him.

159
00:10:26,379 --> 00:10:29,746
Chester, I give you my solemn word.
This time it's not dangerous.

160
00:10:29,816 --> 00:10:32,910
Not dangerous? You said that
when you shot me out of a cannon.

161
00:10:32,986 --> 00:10:35,079
When you dropped me in a tank
with an octopus.

162
00:10:35,154 --> 00:10:37,987
When you had me wrestle a gorilla.
"It's not dangerous."

163
00:10:38,057 --> 00:10:42,790
I'm not going. I'm through.
I've had it. So forget it, Charlie!

164
00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:49,327
Now what are you worrying about?

165
00:10:49,402 --> 00:10:51,336
I don't like the location of the propeller.

166
00:10:51,404 --> 00:10:52,393
Why not?

167
00:10:52,472 --> 00:10:54,667
I don't like things going on behind my back.

168
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:57,107
You're going to soar, soar just like a bird.

169
00:10:57,176 --> 00:10:59,610
I hope I drop an egg, on guess who.

170
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:02,146
Why do I always have to do
the dangerous stuff?

171
00:11:02,215 --> 00:11:04,410
Just the nature of our relationship,
dear boy.

172
00:11:04,484 --> 00:11:08,113
One of us has the brains,
one of us has the brawn.

173
00:11:08,187 --> 00:11:10,087
Just like one's firm...

174
00:11:10,289 --> 00:11:11,381
...the other's flab.

175
00:11:11,457 --> 00:11:14,324
You got a program?
So far I don't recognize anyone.

176
00:11:14,694 --> 00:11:16,594
Don't get sore at me.

177
00:11:16,729 --> 00:11:17,753
It's a plot point.

178
00:11:17,830 --> 00:11:20,196
Besides, this whole deal's
going to be a cinch.

179
00:11:20,266 --> 00:11:22,962
Everything's a cinch,
and I wind up on crutches.

180
00:11:23,036 --> 00:11:25,368
Don't I always get you
the best medical attention?

181
00:11:25,438 --> 00:11:28,202
Yeah, like that doctor you got me
in Bombay last month.

182
00:11:28,274 --> 00:11:30,640
How was I going to know
he was an elephant doctor?

183
00:11:30,710 --> 00:11:33,270
You should have known
by the size of his thermometer.

184
00:11:33,980 --> 00:11:35,413
Yes, it was a bit large.

185
00:11:35,481 --> 00:11:37,449
When he shook it, I was still on it.

186
00:11:37,617 --> 00:11:39,812
I think he used to be a pole-vaulter.

187
00:11:39,886 --> 00:11:41,854
You don't have to tell me that.

188
00:11:42,288 --> 00:11:43,812
Well, here we go.

189
00:11:43,890 --> 00:11:47,018
Wait. How high am I going to go?

190
00:11:47,293 --> 00:11:49,352
- Only 200 feet.
- 200 feet!

191
00:11:49,429 --> 00:11:51,329
Yes, you'll make history like Lindbergh!

192
00:11:51,397 --> 00:11:53,627
Lindbergh had a plane,
not a malted-milk machine!

193
00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:56,168
Don't worry, everything will be fine.
Let's go, boys!

194
00:11:56,235 --> 00:11:58,601
Here we go. Pull it back.

195
00:11:59,005 --> 00:12:01,838
Hey! Wait a minute. I don't like this.

196
00:12:01,908 --> 00:12:03,876
Get out of there. Contact!

197
00:12:06,279 --> 00:12:07,303
Let's point him.

198
00:12:07,380 --> 00:12:10,008
Is there an insurance machine around here?

199
00:12:10,083 --> 00:12:12,244
Stop worrying. Everything's all right.

200
00:12:12,318 --> 00:12:13,649
Happy landings, Buster.

201
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:16,689
I don't know what you're so happy about.
You're not in my will.

202
00:12:16,756 --> 00:12:19,247
Release the feet, let him go.

203
00:12:19,859 --> 00:12:21,520
Geronimo!

204
00:12:46,552 --> 00:12:47,712
Hello.

205
00:12:48,087 --> 00:12:49,486
What's that?

206
00:12:50,223 --> 00:12:51,485
Chester.

207
00:12:51,891 --> 00:12:53,324
Who are you?

208
00:12:53,526 --> 00:12:54,584
Who am I?

209
00:12:54,694 --> 00:12:56,127
Yes. You seem like...

210
00:12:56,195 --> 00:12:57,560
...a nice, pleasant fellow.

211
00:12:57,630 --> 00:13:00,428
Friendly, saggy, and a little overdressed.

212
00:13:00,633 --> 00:13:03,625
Chester, I'm your partner, Harry Turner.

213
00:13:03,903 --> 00:13:06,428
- Harry?
- Yeah. Harry Turner. Your pal.

214
00:13:06,572 --> 00:13:07,664
Pal?

215
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,775
Chester, for 20 years,
we've been bosom friends.

216
00:13:10,843 --> 00:13:12,037
Bosom?

217
00:13:12,245 --> 00:13:13,644
What's that?

218
00:13:13,946 --> 00:13:16,141
You have lost your memory, haven't you?

219
00:13:16,315 --> 00:13:18,806
Come on, Chester, try and remember.
Try real hard.

220
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:20,352
Who am I, now?

221
00:13:20,486 --> 00:13:23,387
You look friendly and fatherly.

222
00:13:23,589 --> 00:13:24,681
Are you my father?

223
00:13:24,757 --> 00:13:27,123
- No, I'm not your father.
- You're not my father.

224
00:13:27,193 --> 00:13:28,922
Could you possibly be my mother?

225
00:13:28,995 --> 00:13:30,724
We're not even sure you had one.

226
00:13:30,863 --> 00:13:34,299
Got to get something to jolt your memory.
Here.

227
00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:36,065
Who's that?

228
00:13:37,036 --> 00:13:39,732
I don't know,
but give me a stick and I'll kill it!

229
00:13:41,007 --> 00:13:42,998
Think carefully. Who does that look like?

230
00:13:43,075 --> 00:13:46,101
I don't know. A nice, handsome fellow.
Dashing, devil-may-care.

231
00:13:46,179 --> 00:13:48,044
Irresistible to women.

232
00:13:48,447 --> 00:13:49,914
And you've never heard of "bosom"?

233
00:13:49,982 --> 00:13:51,142
Never.

234
00:13:51,551 --> 00:13:54,076
Boy! We've got a lot of work to do.

235
00:13:55,221 --> 00:13:56,620
Never mind!

236
00:13:57,023 --> 00:14:00,754
So Harry Turner desperately tried
to regain his friend's memory.

237
00:14:00,827 --> 00:14:04,991
He took him to the most highly
respected neurologist in India.

238
00:14:16,108 --> 00:14:17,803
What is it, Doctor?

239
00:14:18,978 --> 00:14:20,639
Terrible heartburn.

240
00:14:20,713 --> 00:14:24,149
Put too much curry in my cornflakes,
you understand. One moment please.

241
00:14:24,217 --> 00:14:26,845
Don't mind if I smarten myself up
in front of you. Now.

242
00:14:26,919 --> 00:14:28,079
Comes the examination.

243
00:14:28,154 --> 00:14:30,486
Please, taking that down a minute.
Now. One second.

244
00:14:30,556 --> 00:14:31,921
Looking in here.

245
00:14:32,058 --> 00:14:34,026
My goodness gracious me!

246
00:14:34,727 --> 00:14:36,718
Would you look in the other ear, please?

247
00:14:37,029 --> 00:14:38,018
Well?

248
00:14:38,097 --> 00:14:39,587
I can see you.

249
00:14:39,665 --> 00:14:41,030
That's strange, I can see you.

250
00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:42,863
That's since I put in air-conditioning.

251
00:14:42,935 --> 00:14:45,597
- What do I look like?
- You look like you need a doctor.

252
00:14:45,671 --> 00:14:48,162
I don't know where
I could find a doctor at this time.

253
00:14:48,241 --> 00:14:50,402
Will you please get on with the examination?

254
00:14:50,476 --> 00:14:51,738
No. Tell you what I'll do.

255
00:14:51,811 --> 00:14:53,904
- What?
- I will get on with my examination.

256
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:58,542
The most important point at this stage
of the proceedings is the matter of the fee.

257
00:14:58,618 --> 00:15:00,415
Since you are fine American gentlemen...

258
00:15:00,486 --> 00:15:03,853
...I am offering you my special
European fee of 1,200 rupees.

259
00:15:03,923 --> 00:15:05,117
1,200 rupees?

260
00:15:05,191 --> 00:15:07,682
Right. Open your mouth and say...

261
00:15:10,263 --> 00:15:13,892
You are suffering from a severe attack
of teeth and two cavities.

262
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:16,261
I will fill them for you for 600 rupees.

263
00:15:16,335 --> 00:15:18,769
- Are you a doctor or a dentist?
- What do you need?

264
00:15:18,838 --> 00:15:21,466
- I need to get my memory back.
- Just one moment, please.

265
00:15:21,540 --> 00:15:24,304
Could you use some French postcards?

266
00:15:24,410 --> 00:15:25,934
- No.
- Pity.

267
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,809
Slightly used Havana cigar?

268
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,370
No.

269
00:15:29,815 --> 00:15:32,545
Underwater inflatable bust of Yogi Berra?

270
00:15:32,685 --> 00:15:33,709
No.

271
00:15:33,786 --> 00:15:35,344
Pity. It's going for a song.

272
00:15:37,790 --> 00:15:40,088
Thank you very much for the...

273
00:15:41,928 --> 00:15:43,896
- And I'm the patient?
- That's what I thought.

274
00:15:43,963 --> 00:15:46,397
Come on.
We want to get this fellow's memory back.

275
00:15:46,465 --> 00:15:47,932
Will you get on with the therapy?

276
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,695
No, but I'll tell you what I do.

277
00:15:49,769 --> 00:15:51,430
- What?
- I'll get on with the therapy.

278
00:15:51,504 --> 00:15:55,463
First of all, we have the special all-lndia
close-up eye-test reading chart.

279
00:15:55,541 --> 00:15:57,975
Read from the fourth line down.
Thank you very much.

280
00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:01,172
"I owe you 1,300 rupees."

281
00:16:01,247 --> 00:16:03,374
1,300? A minute ago it was 1,200.

282
00:16:03,449 --> 00:16:05,940
You should have jumped at it
when you had the chance.

283
00:16:06,018 --> 00:16:08,043
Doctor, there's nothing wrong with my eyes.

284
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,112
No, as a matter of fact,
you've got very beautiful eyes.

285
00:16:11,190 --> 00:16:14,091
Never mind. I'll tell you what I will do.

286
00:16:14,593 --> 00:16:17,289
I will start the special long-distance
eye test now.

287
00:16:17,363 --> 00:16:19,558
Where's the sausages in here?

288
00:16:25,538 --> 00:16:27,438
I'm so sorry. It's my mother.

289
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:29,267
Sorry.

290
00:16:30,176 --> 00:16:31,609
Now then. Here.

291
00:16:31,677 --> 00:16:33,042
I'm giving you the eye test...

292
00:16:33,112 --> 00:16:36,570
...constructed for American
gentlemen visiting our country. Now then.

293
00:16:36,649 --> 00:16:39,311
One, two, three, fourth line down.
Read it, please.

294
00:16:39,485 --> 00:16:42,477
- But that's Indian. I can't read Indian.
- I'll read it for you.

295
00:16:42,555 --> 00:16:46,082
No, better still, I'll play it for you.
Wait a minute.

296
00:16:49,495 --> 00:16:50,894
Just a second.

297
00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:53,793
Damn old flies. They get everywhere,
you know?

298
00:17:11,450 --> 00:17:12,849
Hey, Doc!

299
00:17:12,918 --> 00:17:16,149
- What? Don't worry about that.
- Don't worry? What if he bites me?

300
00:17:16,222 --> 00:17:18,747
Nothing to worry about.
If he should give you a nip...

301
00:17:18,824 --> 00:17:22,225
...all you do is get hold of your bowie
knife, make a cut on here...

302
00:17:22,294 --> 00:17:24,762
...suck out the poison and spit it away.
Very simple.

303
00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:27,560
But what if he bites me
in a place where I can't reach?

304
00:17:27,867 --> 00:17:30,631
That is when you find out
who your real friends are.

305
00:17:31,203 --> 00:17:32,192
Let's get out of here.

306
00:17:32,271 --> 00:17:34,330
No, seriously, please, listen to me.

307
00:17:34,407 --> 00:17:37,240
If you want to get your memory back,
there's one place to go.

308
00:17:37,309 --> 00:17:38,708
In the mountains of Tibet.

309
00:17:38,778 --> 00:17:40,746
A lamasery, wonderful place.

310
00:17:40,813 --> 00:17:43,179
Instantly give you a secret herb,
back comes memory.

311
00:17:43,249 --> 00:17:45,649
- You're sure of this?
- Dear fellow, absolutely sure.

312
00:17:45,718 --> 00:17:48,949
Once I had a terrible attack
of the can't-remember-nothing...

313
00:17:49,021 --> 00:17:52,286
...my name, who I was, what I was doing,
where I am, what's going on.

314
00:17:52,358 --> 00:17:55,850
Then I took the secret herb.
Instantly, back came everything. Wonderful.

315
00:17:55,928 --> 00:17:57,452
Where is this place?

316
00:17:57,730 --> 00:17:59,254
I'm sorry, I can't remember.

317
00:17:59,331 --> 00:18:01,993
- Let's get out of here.
- Don't worry.

318
00:18:04,303 --> 00:18:06,828
All right, Sam, let's have some jazz, man.

319
00:18:08,874 --> 00:18:11,900
The boys consulted another
doctor and discovered...

320
00:18:11,977 --> 00:18:15,879
...there really was such a lamasery,
where memory could be restored.

321
00:18:15,948 --> 00:18:17,745
En route to the lamasery...

322
00:18:17,817 --> 00:18:21,480
...the boys booked passage on a plane
that departed from Calcutta.

323
00:18:21,554 --> 00:18:24,819
It was in that airport that
my path was destined to cross...

324
00:18:24,890 --> 00:18:26,915
...that of Babcock and Turner.

325
00:18:26,992 --> 00:18:30,052
I had been sent there to
contact one of our secret agents.

326
00:18:30,129 --> 00:18:33,098
He was returning from Moscow,
where he had just stolen...

327
00:18:33,165 --> 00:18:36,066
...the top-secret formula
for the Russian rocket fuel...

328
00:18:36,135 --> 00:18:37,500
...when...

329
00:18:37,736 --> 00:18:40,967
I am being followed, so listen carefully.
I can only say this once.

330
00:18:41,107 --> 00:18:43,439
Here is the formula.
You will microfilm it...

331
00:18:43,509 --> 00:18:46,034
...destroy these papers
and send the film to Hong Kong.

332
00:18:46,112 --> 00:18:47,136
Very well.

333
00:18:47,213 --> 00:18:49,078
- Have you made all the arrangements?
- Yes.

334
00:18:49,148 --> 00:18:51,616
- Who's the photographer?
- That's no concern of yours.

335
00:18:51,684 --> 00:18:55,142
You'll identify him by three concentric
circles on his camera bag.

336
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:56,381
Three concentric circles?

337
00:18:56,455 --> 00:18:58,616
He will contact you right here
in the airport.

338
00:18:58,691 --> 00:19:01,057
- You mustn't fail.
- Don't worry.

339
00:19:12,271 --> 00:19:14,000
I hope that doctor's right.

340
00:19:14,073 --> 00:19:16,633
- You sure I'll get my memory back?
- That's what he said.

341
00:19:16,709 --> 00:19:18,336
What if I only get part of it back?

342
00:19:18,410 --> 00:19:21,402
All I want you to get back
is the part where you left our money.

343
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,210
What about women?
What if I don't remember them?

344
00:19:24,283 --> 00:19:27,116
We'll send you to school.
Learning can be fun.

345
00:19:27,186 --> 00:19:28,380
- No!
- Yes.

346
00:19:28,921 --> 00:19:30,889
Suppose I should meet someone right now.

347
00:19:30,956 --> 00:19:33,151
What did I do? How did I used to
get started?

348
00:19:33,225 --> 00:19:36,558
You were electric.
You overwhelmed them with your personality.

349
00:19:36,629 --> 00:19:38,654
- You used to give them the suave smile.
- Yeah?

350
00:19:38,731 --> 00:19:40,028
- The raised eyebrow.
- No.

351
00:19:40,099 --> 00:19:42,567
- The knowing wink.
- Yeah, and then?

352
00:19:42,735 --> 00:19:45,465
No, you're not ready for "and then" yet.

353
00:19:45,538 --> 00:19:47,529
- And that's all there was to it?
- That's all.

354
00:19:47,606 --> 00:19:49,301
Just the suave smile?

355
00:19:50,009 --> 00:19:51,738
- The raised eyebrow?
- Yes.

356
00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:53,437
- The knowing wink?
- That's it.

357
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,679
Steady!

358
00:19:55,748 --> 00:19:58,080
You almost sold me there, you rascal you.

359
00:19:58,150 --> 00:19:59,208
I'm hooked!

360
00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:01,185
Steady, don't waste none of that.

361
00:20:01,253 --> 00:20:02,914
- I can't get out of it.
- No. Come on.

362
00:20:02,988 --> 00:20:05,821
Listen, I'll check on the tickets,
and you get the bags.

363
00:20:06,025 --> 00:20:07,492
- Bags?
- Yeah, the luggage.

364
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,324
That stuff there. Come on. Look alive!

365
00:20:28,814 --> 00:20:31,180
Let's see. There was a suave smile.

366
00:20:33,819 --> 00:20:35,616
The knowing wink.

367
00:20:39,391 --> 00:20:40,688
And then...

368
00:20:44,296 --> 00:20:46,787
I've got a feeling the "and then" is
the best part.

369
00:20:47,566 --> 00:20:49,431
I hope I'm ready for it.

370
00:20:50,636 --> 00:20:52,797
Do you think we're being watched?

371
00:20:52,871 --> 00:20:54,031
Definitely.

372
00:20:54,106 --> 00:20:55,767
Then we'll have to hurry.

373
00:20:55,908 --> 00:20:58,342
- Have we got time?
- If you work fast.

374
00:20:58,410 --> 00:21:00,241
- I'll do my best.
- Good.

375
00:21:00,312 --> 00:21:02,780
- I've got the room ready at the hotel.
- Good.

376
00:21:02,848 --> 00:21:05,282
- I've made all the arrangements.
- Fine.

377
00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:07,581
- The shades are all drawn.
- Very sensible.

378
00:21:07,653 --> 00:21:09,814
And we can lock the door from the inside.

379
00:21:09,888 --> 00:21:13,346
Good. I'd hate to get a crowd
until I get the hang of it.

380
00:21:14,293 --> 00:21:15,817
So much depends on you.

381
00:21:15,894 --> 00:21:18,362
Are you sure you've done
this sort of thing before?

382
00:21:18,430 --> 00:21:19,954
I must have.

383
00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:23,031
When do we start?

384
00:21:23,102 --> 00:21:24,296
Right now!

385
00:21:25,271 --> 00:21:28,763
Darling, it's so wonderful to see you again!

386
00:21:32,544 --> 00:21:34,671
- You've got it!
- I know it.

387
00:21:35,547 --> 00:21:37,208
- Don't lose it!
- Don't worry.

388
00:21:37,283 --> 00:21:39,808
- See you at the hotel.
- Pull the shades, lock the door.

389
00:21:39,885 --> 00:21:41,409
- One final thing.
- Yes?

390
00:21:41,487 --> 00:21:43,352
In case I'm late, go ahead without me.

391
00:21:43,422 --> 00:21:45,151
Fine, I'll do that.

392
00:21:51,597 --> 00:21:54,395
- What was that about?
- I think I'm ready for the "and then."

393
00:21:54,466 --> 00:21:57,867
You've passed "and then."
You're all the way up to "How about that?"

394
00:21:57,936 --> 00:22:01,463
I got a date at the hotel with
the shades drawn and the doors locked.

395
00:22:01,540 --> 00:22:02,598
I can't believe this.

396
00:22:02,675 --> 00:22:05,075
She said if she was late,
I should start without her.

397
00:22:05,144 --> 00:22:06,304
Now I believe it.

398
00:22:06,378 --> 00:22:07,606
Come on.

399
00:22:09,615 --> 00:22:12,175
- What are you doing with that?
- You told me it was ours.

400
00:22:12,251 --> 00:22:16,085
Not that one. We'd better put it back.
Come on, we'll be late for the plane.

401
00:22:19,625 --> 00:22:22,719
We may not need the plane.
I think I'm getting it back.

402
00:22:31,603 --> 00:22:33,503
We need the plane.

403
00:22:36,608 --> 00:22:39,338
Babcock and Turner's plane
had already taken off...

404
00:22:39,411 --> 00:22:41,504
...when I discovered my mistake.

405
00:22:41,580 --> 00:22:44,811
I also learned that the two men
had booked round-trip tickets...

406
00:22:44,883 --> 00:22:46,748
...and would be back within a week.

407
00:22:46,852 --> 00:22:49,446
There was nothing I could do but wait.

408
00:22:49,755 --> 00:22:51,848
I would have been more anxious
if I'd known...

409
00:22:51,924 --> 00:22:54,586
...they were heading
for the desolate Kulrabi Mountains...

410
00:22:54,860 --> 00:22:58,387
...and the distant fabled lamasery
at Jaipuri.

411
00:23:03,268 --> 00:23:05,327
Well, it's clearing up, isn't it?

412
00:23:05,404 --> 00:23:08,237
Say, Grandpa, we're told you could help us.

413
00:23:08,307 --> 00:23:09,934
My friend here has lost his memory.

414
00:23:10,008 --> 00:23:11,134
I don't remember anything.

415
00:23:11,210 --> 00:23:13,610
I don't remember what money is,
what I did with it...

416
00:23:13,679 --> 00:23:15,647
...what girls are and what I did with them.

417
00:23:15,714 --> 00:23:19,707
In life, my brother,
money and girls are not important.

418
00:23:20,853 --> 00:23:23,754
- This guy needs a few weeks in Las Vegas.
- Let me talk to him.

419
00:23:23,822 --> 00:23:26,154
Look, we'd like to negotiate a deal.

420
00:23:26,225 --> 00:23:28,989
- Who's in charge of mental health?
- Mental health?

421
00:23:29,061 --> 00:23:32,394
Who's the boss, the number-one fellow?
Who pays the tab on the pad?

422
00:23:32,464 --> 00:23:34,056
Who signs the scrolls?

423
00:23:34,133 --> 00:23:35,498
The Grand Lama.

424
00:23:36,135 --> 00:23:37,261
Grand Lama.

425
00:23:37,336 --> 00:23:38,496
He's the pro here?

426
00:23:38,570 --> 00:23:39,764
Jack Lama, I think it is.

427
00:23:39,838 --> 00:23:41,669
We'd like to make an appointment.

428
00:23:41,740 --> 00:23:45,301
Very well. Follow me. I will prepare you.

429
00:23:45,411 --> 00:23:46,878
Bring your niblick.

430
00:23:47,045 --> 00:23:49,070
Maybe the house detective.

431
00:23:49,481 --> 00:23:52,416
Please, my sons, do not despair.

432
00:23:52,618 --> 00:23:57,317
Help is never denied those
whose destiny crosses our threshold.

433
00:23:57,623 --> 00:24:00,649
- Come, and we shall see what we can do.
- He may be the man.

434
00:24:00,726 --> 00:24:03,058
You don't win a hat like that
playing mumblety-pegs.

435
00:24:03,128 --> 00:24:04,152
No.

436
00:24:06,131 --> 00:24:11,125
We are administering an ancient
and obscure herb known as Piutus Memoryorus.

437
00:24:11,737 --> 00:24:16,538
In many cases, it has been known to effect
an almost instantaneous recovery.

438
00:24:27,453 --> 00:24:28,545
Yes.

439
00:24:28,754 --> 00:24:31,416
- Yes, my son?
- It's coming back.

440
00:24:31,490 --> 00:24:32,957
I think I'm beginning to remember.

441
00:24:33,025 --> 00:24:35,960
Great! Now. What's my name?

442
00:24:36,495 --> 00:24:38,554
- Name?
- Yeah. My name.

443
00:24:38,630 --> 00:24:41,190
Har-ry Tru-Tru-Truman.

444
00:24:41,266 --> 00:24:43,131
No.

445
00:24:43,235 --> 00:24:44,759
Har-ry...

446
00:24:44,837 --> 00:24:46,270
- Concentrate!
- Harry Concentrate!

447
00:24:46,338 --> 00:24:47,532
No!

448
00:24:47,606 --> 00:24:48,868
Har-ry...

449
00:24:49,508 --> 00:24:51,942
- Tur-ner!
- Right! You've got it.

450
00:24:52,010 --> 00:24:55,002
- Harry Turner!
- What's your name?

451
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:59,016
- Chester Babcock?
- Right.

452
00:24:59,084 --> 00:25:00,676
Chester Babcock.

453
00:25:00,752 --> 00:25:03,585
- A name like that I remember.
- I think he's getting it back.

454
00:25:03,655 --> 00:25:05,680
- Now tell me, how much is two and two?
- Four.

455
00:25:05,757 --> 00:25:06,781
- Four and four?
- Eight.

456
00:25:06,859 --> 00:25:08,326
- Eight and eight?
- Seventeen.

457
00:25:08,393 --> 00:25:10,827
That's our boy again. He's with us again.

458
00:25:10,896 --> 00:25:14,263
And now, my son,
having regained your memory...

459
00:25:14,333 --> 00:25:16,460
...you are one of the chosen few...

460
00:25:16,535 --> 00:25:19,868
...eligible to experience
the ecstatic joys...

461
00:25:19,938 --> 00:25:22,873
...of the Hall of Total Recollection.

462
00:25:23,308 --> 00:25:27,642
You see, those who respond
to the Piutus Memoryorus...

463
00:25:27,713 --> 00:25:32,707
...also respond to a still-rarer herb,
the Piutus Bushkinorus.

464
00:25:32,918 --> 00:25:34,886
Piutus Bushkinorus?

465
00:25:34,987 --> 00:25:37,012
You can get that from a bad audience.

466
00:25:37,089 --> 00:25:38,147
Watch it.

467
00:25:38,223 --> 00:25:39,918
You mean these characters here are...

468
00:25:39,992 --> 00:25:42,392
...remembering all that's been put
in front of them?

469
00:25:42,461 --> 00:25:46,522
They are, at the moment,
reading and remembering great literature.

470
00:25:46,598 --> 00:25:49,328
That one is remembering the Odyssey.

471
00:25:49,701 --> 00:25:51,896
That one, the Iliad.

472
00:25:52,271 --> 00:25:54,637
And that one, Shakespeare.

473
00:25:55,007 --> 00:25:57,441
What about that one, over there?

474
00:26:01,313 --> 00:26:03,178
What's he remembering?

475
00:26:03,582 --> 00:26:05,209
Lady Chatterley's Lover.

476
00:26:07,753 --> 00:26:11,553
Lady Chatterley's Lover.
He must have the one with pictures.

477
00:26:11,723 --> 00:26:14,317
And I had to leave
my library card in my other robe.

478
00:26:14,393 --> 00:26:18,352
Will this Piutus Bushkinorus work
on my friend Chester here?

479
00:26:18,430 --> 00:26:21,092
Precisely. If you will come with me.

480
00:26:21,166 --> 00:26:24,431
Do you realize what a memory act
we could do with some of this stuff?

481
00:26:24,503 --> 00:26:25,595
- Crazy!
- Just the greatest!

482
00:26:25,671 --> 00:26:28,834
- For the first time, we'd be legitimate.
- Let's not get sickening.

483
00:26:28,907 --> 00:26:33,037
Say, Mister Lama, do you suppose we
could buy a couple of sticks of this stuff?

484
00:26:33,111 --> 00:26:34,806
We want to do this memory act and we...

485
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:38,941
I'm sorry, my sons, but neither our herbs,
nor those who use them...

486
00:26:39,017 --> 00:26:41,485
...are ever allowed to leave the lamasery.

487
00:26:41,853 --> 00:26:44,185
You mean, we have to spend
our lives in this place?

488
00:26:44,256 --> 00:26:45,280
I'm afraid so.

489
00:26:45,357 --> 00:26:47,450
We don't want you to think
we're ungrateful...

490
00:26:47,526 --> 00:26:51,758
...but there's nothing that could keep us
in a place like this forever.

491
00:26:51,830 --> 00:26:54,993
Unless it was a couple
of fabulous-looking girls!

492
00:26:57,636 --> 00:26:58,967
Hi, girls.

493
00:26:59,705 --> 00:27:01,696
I'd hate to see the boys.

494
00:27:05,577 --> 00:27:07,135
Come on, watch it.

495
00:27:07,212 --> 00:27:09,942
- Watch the threads.
- Please, I just had this pressed.

496
00:27:11,049 --> 00:27:14,485
Say, you guys like American pictures?

497
00:27:14,553 --> 00:27:18,956
You seen any old road pictures like
Singapore, Zanzibar, Morocco?

498
00:27:19,024 --> 00:27:22,221
You haven't? Well, watch this.

499
00:27:22,294 --> 00:27:25,457
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man...

500
00:27:25,530 --> 00:27:28,499
...bake a cake as fast as you...

501
00:27:29,334 --> 00:27:31,131
Say, it still works.

502
00:27:31,203 --> 00:27:34,036
- Get the bottle.
- You get the clothes.

503
00:27:37,242 --> 00:27:39,836
Remember. No violence.

504
00:27:40,245 --> 00:27:43,009
Follow them, watch, wait.

505
00:27:43,081 --> 00:27:46,209
And when the occasion permits,
regain the bottle.

506
00:27:46,284 --> 00:27:48,377
It shall be done, Master.

507
00:28:11,777 --> 00:28:14,268
There you are. Buy yourself a blue blade.

508
00:28:14,346 --> 00:28:15,938
Gentlemen, is there anything else?

509
00:28:16,014 --> 00:28:19,711
No, we're fine. Go work on your rope trick.
We might use you on the road.

510
00:28:19,785 --> 00:28:21,548
Yeah, heat up your snake.

511
00:28:21,620 --> 00:28:24,282
There you are,
my little orange-pekoe annuity.

512
00:28:24,356 --> 00:28:27,814
Chester, come down here.
I want you to unfurl the long-and-furry.

513
00:28:28,260 --> 00:28:30,353
You're not well, are you?

514
00:28:30,429 --> 00:28:33,557
We must press on. We gotta test
this stuff to make sure it works.

515
00:28:33,632 --> 00:28:35,964
- What will you test it on?
- We'll find something.

516
00:28:36,034 --> 00:28:38,559
You got a racing form, a summons,
anything on you?

517
00:28:38,637 --> 00:28:40,264
- Here's something.
- What have you got?

518
00:28:40,338 --> 00:28:42,363
I don't know, it's got numbers and diagrams.

519
00:28:42,441 --> 00:28:43,635
Let me see.

520
00:28:44,042 --> 00:28:46,067
- Where'd you get it?
- Who knows?

521
00:28:46,144 --> 00:28:48,112
Maybe it was that dame at the airport.

522
00:28:48,180 --> 00:28:50,546
The one who wanted a picture
of me in a bikini.

523
00:28:50,615 --> 00:28:52,810
Dreamer. No matter.

524
00:28:52,884 --> 00:28:55,785
If you can memorize this, Chester,
you can memorize anything.

525
00:28:55,854 --> 00:28:57,014
Sit down.

526
00:28:57,089 --> 00:29:01,355
Now then, Chester, flip that fang out
for me, will you, one more time?

527
00:29:03,395 --> 00:29:05,295
I wished I had a book of stamps.

528
00:29:05,363 --> 00:29:07,456
You're a little nervous. This won't hurt.

529
00:29:07,532 --> 00:29:09,932
Lay it right there. There we are.

530
00:29:10,769 --> 00:29:12,634
Did it do anything for you?

531
00:29:17,409 --> 00:29:20,173
- You got it? Ready?
- Got it.

532
00:29:27,652 --> 00:29:28,914
Okay.

533
00:29:28,987 --> 00:29:30,181
Page one, line six.

534
00:29:30,255 --> 00:29:33,554
"The ratio of the fuel concentration
to the initial escape velocity..."

535
00:29:33,625 --> 00:29:36,355
"...equals the quadrant X
minus AB to the sixteenth power."

536
00:29:36,428 --> 00:29:40,057
Wonderful, Chester.
All right, page two, line 17.

537
00:29:40,132 --> 00:29:43,158
"Atmospheric density compressed
to the square root of 'Y' plus 5..."

538
00:29:43,235 --> 00:29:45,362
"...to the power of 11 and a dirty thumb."

539
00:29:46,671 --> 00:29:49,265
What coverage!

540
00:29:50,375 --> 00:29:52,866
- My key, please.
- Certainly, madam.

541
00:29:56,047 --> 00:29:59,312
"...centimeters of cubic displacement
per gram of octane distillate."

542
00:29:59,384 --> 00:30:03,821
Finito! Perfecto, Chester! Come on.
Let's get a little bit of fresh air.

543
00:30:03,889 --> 00:30:06,824
Coming out of it? You all right?
Come on, school's out.

544
00:30:09,461 --> 00:30:12,294
- Did I get it all?
- Every word, every gold-plated word.

545
00:30:12,364 --> 00:30:14,525
We're gonna be loaded, Ches boy.

546
00:30:14,599 --> 00:30:17,659
- Don't start with that "Ches boy."
- We've got a fortune here.

547
00:30:17,736 --> 00:30:21,331
- In my head?
- The last place anybody would look for it.

548
00:30:21,406 --> 00:30:22,668
You got a mind like a sponge.

549
00:30:22,741 --> 00:30:24,902
Don't get any ideas about squeezing it,
either.

550
00:30:24,976 --> 00:30:28,571
Chester, you're a walking IBM Machine,
a slope-nosed Univac.

551
00:30:28,647 --> 00:30:31,707
From now on, anytime anybody
wants any secret information...

552
00:30:31,783 --> 00:30:34,809
...taken from one place to another,
they got to lay it up there.

553
00:30:34,886 --> 00:30:36,376
- Right up there?
- That's the place.

554
00:30:36,454 --> 00:30:37,921
- I carry it around for them?
- Yeah.

555
00:30:37,989 --> 00:30:41,390
If they want any information,
they make a little hole and it leaks out?

556
00:30:41,893 --> 00:30:45,590
So, you're talking about spy rings
and secret agents and things like that.

557
00:30:45,664 --> 00:30:47,154
They got knives, they got guns.

558
00:30:47,232 --> 00:30:50,292
They shoot you with tiny bullets
that put big holes in you.

559
00:30:50,368 --> 00:30:51,767
I know, I watch television!

560
00:30:51,837 --> 00:30:54,067
- I'm going to be there with you.
- For the funeral.

561
00:30:54,139 --> 00:30:55,606
Who do you think they'll shoot...

562
00:30:55,674 --> 00:30:58,302
...you or the schnook with
the IBM machine up his Univac.

563
00:30:58,376 --> 00:31:00,571
I'm sorry, get yourself a new schnook.

564
00:31:00,645 --> 00:31:05,139
Look, why don't you get us a nice agent
and book us a nice, legitimate memory act?

565
00:31:05,217 --> 00:31:06,946
Anything wrong...

566
00:31:12,257 --> 00:31:13,656
Hello there.

567
00:31:19,998 --> 00:31:23,092
- Do you remember me?
- I certainly hope so.

568
00:31:23,168 --> 00:31:24,567
The airport.

569
00:31:24,836 --> 00:31:26,326
The airport. Yeah.

570
00:31:26,404 --> 00:31:29,339
You're the girl with the hotel room.
Sorry I couldn't make it.

571
00:31:29,407 --> 00:31:30,840
I hope there's still a vacancy.

572
00:31:30,909 --> 00:31:34,003
We can go to the hotel
and pull the shades and...

573
00:31:34,346 --> 00:31:37,975
Now don't be a sore loser. I'll go.

574
00:31:38,283 --> 00:31:40,683
It's wonderful to be wanted.

575
00:31:41,620 --> 00:31:44,783
- I already have a scar there.
- The papers, please.

576
00:31:44,856 --> 00:31:47,825
- The papers?
- The ones I put in your pocket.

577
00:31:47,893 --> 00:31:50,259
- With the numbers and the diagrams?
- If you please.

578
00:31:50,328 --> 00:31:52,489
We just had a little barbecue here.

579
00:31:52,831 --> 00:31:53,889
No!

580
00:31:54,900 --> 00:31:56,458
You idiots.

581
00:31:58,970 --> 00:32:02,997
Would I be correct in assuming that
this information might have been valuable?

582
00:32:03,074 --> 00:32:04,439
Invaluable.

583
00:32:05,710 --> 00:32:08,144
Maybe something that
somebody would pay a lot for...

584
00:32:08,213 --> 00:32:11,478
...if somebody could get somebody
to bring it back?

585
00:32:11,850 --> 00:32:14,819
- Don't talk nonsense!
- That's right, don't talk nonsense!

586
00:32:14,886 --> 00:32:17,354
- Yes, but would they?
- Don't talk nonsense.

587
00:32:17,422 --> 00:32:20,619
Are you suggesting that
you have a way of replacing these papers?

588
00:32:20,692 --> 00:32:24,253
Certainly not. And I'll thank you
to put that gun down now and leave.

589
00:32:24,329 --> 00:32:26,058
I don't know who you're mixed up with.

590
00:32:26,131 --> 00:32:28,622
I'll bet they're the kind to carry guns
and knives...

591
00:32:28,700 --> 00:32:31,362
...and put holes in people,
and my friend here and I...

592
00:32:31,436 --> 00:32:33,996
...will have nothing to do with it.
Leave now.

593
00:32:34,072 --> 00:32:36,006
Do not bother us again.

594
00:32:36,074 --> 00:32:38,565
See you at the bar in five minutes.

595
00:32:39,911 --> 00:32:41,879
Now do you see what I mean?

596
00:32:41,947 --> 00:32:45,280
You're so right, Chester.
And a dame with a gun, yet!

597
00:32:45,350 --> 00:32:46,374
And loaded.

598
00:32:46,451 --> 00:32:47,884
She certainly was!

599
00:32:47,953 --> 00:32:49,887
I told you how dangerous this stuff can be.

600
00:32:49,955 --> 00:32:50,944
You're right as rain.

601
00:32:51,022 --> 00:32:53,820
I'm going downstairs now
and phone New York long distance.

602
00:32:53,892 --> 00:32:55,621
I'm going to get a booking for our act.

603
00:32:55,694 --> 00:32:57,423
That's a great... Wait a minute.

604
00:32:57,495 --> 00:32:58,985
Why don't you use this phone here?

605
00:32:59,064 --> 00:33:02,227
You know you can't make
a long-distance call from a local phone.

606
00:33:02,300 --> 00:33:03,824
Yeah, that's right.

607
00:33:03,902 --> 00:33:06,166
Dames with guns.

608
00:33:09,441 --> 00:33:11,739
And he can deliver it tomorrow in Hong Kong?

609
00:33:12,410 --> 00:33:14,435
If the price is right, yeah.

610
00:33:15,380 --> 00:33:17,940
Shall we say $10,000?

611
00:33:18,216 --> 00:33:19,683
$10,000?

612
00:33:19,985 --> 00:33:22,146
All right, $20,000.

613
00:33:22,687 --> 00:33:24,245
I'm not one to haggle, but...

614
00:33:24,322 --> 00:33:27,382
Very well, then. $25,000.

615
00:33:28,059 --> 00:33:30,960
That was $25,000?

616
00:33:31,029 --> 00:33:32,360
Naturally!

617
00:33:33,164 --> 00:33:35,394
Are you sure you're not pulling my leg?

618
00:33:35,467 --> 00:33:38,698
Business first, fun and games later.

619
00:33:38,803 --> 00:33:41,397
See you upstairs in about 10 minutes. Right?

620
00:33:41,473 --> 00:33:42,633
Right.

621
00:33:49,514 --> 00:33:51,311
Are you kidding me about that booking?

622
00:33:51,383 --> 00:33:53,317
Would I kid you at a time like this?

623
00:33:53,385 --> 00:33:55,945
- This calls for a celebration.
- Right!

624
00:33:56,021 --> 00:33:57,147
How much are we gonna get?

625
00:33:57,222 --> 00:33:59,281
We are gonna get...

626
00:33:59,357 --> 00:34:01,348
- We are going to get...
- $25...

627
00:34:01,426 --> 00:34:02,893
- $25...
- $25...

628
00:34:02,961 --> 00:34:05,259
- $25?
- $2,500.

629
00:34:05,330 --> 00:34:07,764
- $2,500.
- Split right down the middle.

630
00:34:07,832 --> 00:34:10,460
Split right down the middle.
No more of that 80-20 stuff?

631
00:34:10,535 --> 00:34:14,130
No. Share and share alike. Blood brothers.

632
00:34:14,205 --> 00:34:15,263
I'd rather have the money.

633
00:34:15,340 --> 00:34:18,275
It's only fair to tell you
that we are going to have to do...

634
00:34:18,343 --> 00:34:20,641
...a little audition for the Chinese
theatre man.

635
00:34:20,712 --> 00:34:22,179
For that money, he's entitled!

636
00:34:22,247 --> 00:34:24,215
You're being big,
but are you ready for this?

637
00:34:24,282 --> 00:34:26,216
- What?
- Wait'll you hear where we'll play.

638
00:34:26,284 --> 00:34:27,649
Do it to me lightly.

639
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:30,210
Loews Hong Kong.

640
00:34:31,956 --> 00:34:33,583
- Hong Kong!
- Yes, sir.

641
00:34:33,658 --> 00:34:37,617
Dreamy old Hong Kong. Pearl of the Orient.

642
00:34:37,695 --> 00:34:39,094
Bill Holden's sandbox.

643
00:34:39,164 --> 00:34:41,029
Yeah, the almond-eyed Paris.

644
00:34:41,099 --> 00:34:43,431
With the noodles, soy sauce,
and ricky rickshaws.

645
00:34:43,501 --> 00:34:47,130
- The geisha girls give green stamps.
- And the slit skirts have no zippers.

646
00:34:47,205 --> 00:34:49,196
And the dawn comes up like thunder.

647
00:34:49,274 --> 00:34:51,708
- Hong Kong!
- We're on our way.

648
00:34:52,444 --> 00:34:57,006
"Can't you see us in a rickshaw

649
00:34:57,082 --> 00:35:00,017
"Dropping in on Suzie Wong?"

650
00:35:00,452 --> 00:35:03,888
"Can't you see the split kimono"

651
00:35:03,955 --> 00:35:06,719
"On the road to Hong Kong?"

652
00:35:06,791 --> 00:35:08,315
"Sip a little oolong tea"

653
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:12,123
"They'll adore us in our pigtails"

654
00:35:12,197 --> 00:35:15,564
"Sitting down to play mah-jongg"

655
00:35:15,633 --> 00:35:18,625
"You and me, on a spree"

656
00:35:18,703 --> 00:35:21,638
"We'll be right there where we belong"

657
00:35:21,706 --> 00:35:23,139
"On the road to Hong Kong"

658
00:35:23,208 --> 00:35:25,403
"Sip a little oolong tea"

659
00:35:25,777 --> 00:35:28,644
- "Kowloon"
- "Kowloon"

660
00:35:29,180 --> 00:35:32,013
"We can't get there too soon"

661
00:35:32,083 --> 00:35:33,914
"Cause a gal who's cute"

662
00:35:33,985 --> 00:35:38,285
"Has the cutest lute
that I'm just dying to tune"

663
00:35:38,356 --> 00:35:41,120
"Sip a little oolong tea"

664
00:35:41,626 --> 00:35:44,220
Your father's out there.
How did you get here?

665
00:35:44,295 --> 00:35:45,922
Special Effects.

666
00:35:46,898 --> 00:35:50,356
"There's a crazy Chinese incense"

667
00:35:50,435 --> 00:35:53,598
"That could make a weak man strong"

668
00:35:53,671 --> 00:35:57,402
"Just a whiff is terrif"

669
00:36:03,648 --> 00:36:06,583
"Sip a little oolong tea"

670
00:36:06,651 --> 00:36:09,984
- "It's grand"
- "Oh, it's great"

671
00:36:10,054 --> 00:36:15,048
"But try to contemplate
with each Chinese meal"

672
00:36:15,293 --> 00:36:17,227
"There's a Chinese deal"

673
00:36:17,295 --> 00:36:19,889
"Tells your future and fate"

674
00:36:21,966 --> 00:36:23,991
"You are under grave suspicion"

675
00:36:24,068 --> 00:36:26,866
"Your partner suspects you of dishonesty"

676
00:36:27,138 --> 00:36:28,867
Here, it's for you.

677
00:36:29,807 --> 00:36:34,301
"No more Turner, no more Babcock"

678
00:36:34,379 --> 00:36:37,712
"Harry Chan and Chester Fong"

679
00:36:37,782 --> 00:36:40,774
"Let that Chinese gong"

680
00:36:42,587 --> 00:36:45,317
"Go ding ding dong"

681
00:36:46,291 --> 00:36:50,057
"We'll be on the happy road to Hong Kong"

682
00:36:50,161 --> 00:36:53,597
"Smoke a little hookah, nicotine bazooka"

683
00:36:53,665 --> 00:36:56,691
"Smoke a little hookah pipe"

684
00:37:15,820 --> 00:37:17,287
Come in.

685
00:37:22,260 --> 00:37:25,923
Chester, I want you to tell me everything
that was on those secret papers.

686
00:37:25,997 --> 00:37:29,728
Start at the beginning. Page one, line one.

687
00:37:29,968 --> 00:37:32,869
"Top Secret.
Solid propellant rocket-fuel formula.

688
00:37:32,937 --> 00:37:35,167
"The basic element necessary
in maximum thrust..."

689
00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:38,607
"...is equal to 679.03 degrees
of escape velocity."

690
00:37:39,477 --> 00:37:41,206
Page five, line three.

691
00:37:41,279 --> 00:37:44,214
"The quadrant XY over 2 AB
as applied to the equation 'L'..."

692
00:37:47,218 --> 00:37:49,914
There she lies, Chester! Hong Kong!

693
00:37:49,988 --> 00:37:52,047
What a monument to fried rice!

694
00:37:52,123 --> 00:37:55,092
Look at those bamboo
television antennas, will you?

695
00:37:55,159 --> 00:37:57,650
- You got the stuff?
- Yes, got it right here.

696
00:37:57,729 --> 00:38:00,459
I'll take it. I'm still the treasurer,
you know.

697
00:38:00,531 --> 00:38:04,194
With that 80-20 mind of yours,
I want to keep an overlapping grip on my 20.

698
00:38:04,269 --> 00:38:06,794
Chester, when are you
going to learn to trust me?

699
00:38:06,871 --> 00:38:09,396
When I can afford a full-time thief.

700
00:38:28,826 --> 00:38:31,294
Hey, wait a minute!
What are you doing with my bottle?

701
00:38:31,362 --> 00:38:33,853
- Beg pardon, sir, is my bottle.
- That's my bottle!

702
00:38:33,931 --> 00:38:36,024
No, sir. Is very common oriental bottle.

703
00:38:36,100 --> 00:38:38,796
Maybe if you are looking in your pocket?

704
00:38:41,806 --> 00:38:42,830
I'm sorry.

705
00:38:42,907 --> 00:38:45,967
It's quite all right, sir.
Not to worry, sir, not to worry.

706
00:38:46,044 --> 00:38:48,035
We belong to the same bottle club!

707
00:38:48,112 --> 00:38:50,512
Not to worry. Come on, we've got to hurry.

708
00:38:52,216 --> 00:38:54,377
Their route seemed ordinary enough.

709
00:38:54,452 --> 00:38:56,010
Through Kowloon...

710
00:38:56,087 --> 00:38:58,783
...on the Star Ferry across
the bay to Victoria...

711
00:38:58,856 --> 00:39:01,324
...and then climbing high on the island...

712
00:39:01,392 --> 00:39:03,860
...until they reached a secluded estate...

713
00:39:03,928 --> 00:39:07,830
...carefully chosen to conceal
the headquarters of our leader.

714
00:39:08,199 --> 00:39:09,393
I don't dig it.

715
00:39:09,467 --> 00:39:11,594
You sure this is where
the guy's gotta see us?

716
00:39:11,669 --> 00:39:13,967
He's a Chinese millionaire.
A little eccentric.

717
00:39:14,038 --> 00:39:16,370
He made this out of vaudeville
and used chopsticks?

718
00:39:16,441 --> 00:39:17,465
He's a big fella.

719
00:39:17,542 --> 00:39:20,511
You can't get a noodle in this town
without going through him.

720
00:39:20,578 --> 00:39:21,909
- No kidding?
- Right.

721
00:39:21,979 --> 00:39:23,071
Sure you got the stuff?

722
00:39:23,147 --> 00:39:26,480
Buster, I've got our passport
to prosperity right here.

723
00:39:26,551 --> 00:39:27,609
And right there.

724
00:39:27,685 --> 00:39:31,177
Bet you never thought you'd have a fortune
riding in the old melon.

725
00:39:31,255 --> 00:39:33,815
Just goes to show you.
Never throw anything away.

726
00:39:33,891 --> 00:39:35,017
Yeah.

727
00:39:36,661 --> 00:39:38,151
Ring the bell.

728
00:39:41,399 --> 00:39:43,731
What did you do, wire ahead?

729
00:39:52,310 --> 00:39:54,210
Silent butler, I guess.

730
00:39:55,580 --> 00:39:57,343
Fancy little layout.

731
00:39:57,415 --> 00:39:59,610
Looks like it's done in early Egg Foo Yung.

732
00:39:59,684 --> 00:40:02,175
It's a funny place for an audition.

733
00:40:03,821 --> 00:40:06,016
Marvelous place for an audition!

734
00:40:06,491 --> 00:40:10,427
Gentlemen, you are expected.
Please, walk this way.

735
00:40:12,063 --> 00:40:13,621
Walk that way?

736
00:40:14,265 --> 00:40:16,597
I could never pass the physical.

737
00:40:19,837 --> 00:40:22,397
Gentlemen, be seated.

738
00:40:24,375 --> 00:40:26,969
What is this, a Chinese minstrel show?

739
00:40:38,122 --> 00:40:40,556
We're dropping. What's going on here?

740
00:40:40,625 --> 00:40:42,855
Relax.
He probably has a theater in the basement.

741
00:40:42,927 --> 00:40:45,691
What's he showing,
Journey to the Center of the Earth?

742
00:40:58,709 --> 00:41:01,007
We're underwater! That's the ocean!

743
00:41:01,078 --> 00:41:02,067
So?

744
00:41:02,146 --> 00:41:04,637
So? So we spring a little leak, we'll drown.

745
00:41:04,715 --> 00:41:07,445
You don't have to worry.
You've got a built-in snorkel.

746
00:41:08,085 --> 00:41:10,815
Yeah, but I never use it outside
of my bathtub.

747
00:41:11,856 --> 00:41:15,383
Dig this! Looks like
he just ate Lloyd Bridges.

748
00:41:16,027 --> 00:41:17,790
Don't worry, they don't eat people.

749
00:41:17,862 --> 00:41:20,092
- How about actors?
- We're safe.

750
00:41:34,812 --> 00:41:37,042
Gentlemen, we bid you welcome.

751
00:41:39,283 --> 00:41:40,750
You may rise.

752
00:41:49,227 --> 00:41:50,956
Just like the freeway.

753
00:41:52,730 --> 00:41:55,893
I trust your journey down here
wasn't too uncomfortable?

754
00:41:55,967 --> 00:41:57,491
No, sir, and no disrespect, sir.

755
00:41:57,568 --> 00:42:01,299
I don't want to run your business
but this is a peculiar place for a theater.

756
00:42:01,372 --> 00:42:03,670
Where are the people gonna park?
Another thing...

757
00:42:03,741 --> 00:42:05,800
Gentlemen, our leader is a very busy man.

758
00:42:05,877 --> 00:42:07,777
Would you please proceed with the formula?

759
00:42:07,845 --> 00:42:09,472
Certainly, the sooner the...

760
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:10,977
Formula?

761
00:42:11,315 --> 00:42:13,215
- Hey, what's she doing here?
- Who?

762
00:42:13,284 --> 00:42:16,082
Who? Her. Quickdraw McGraw,
the fastest gun in the east!

763
00:42:16,153 --> 00:42:19,213
With her secret papers
and her formulas and...

764
00:42:20,157 --> 00:42:22,751
You went and did it again, didn't you?

765
00:42:22,827 --> 00:42:27,059
You put that stuff on my mind!
You got us mixed up with spies and crooks.

766
00:42:27,131 --> 00:42:28,564
Mr. Babcock.

767
00:42:29,433 --> 00:42:32,459
Will you please stop all
this babbling nonsense?

768
00:42:32,670 --> 00:42:36,106
A deal has been made for which
you've been very handsomely paid.

769
00:42:36,173 --> 00:42:37,902
I know, $2,500.

770
00:42:37,975 --> 00:42:39,840
$25,000.

771
00:42:39,911 --> 00:42:41,902
That's what I said. $25,000.

772
00:42:42,146 --> 00:42:44,512
That's the deal you made with him? $25,000?

773
00:42:44,582 --> 00:42:45,640
Yes.

774
00:42:45,716 --> 00:42:47,741
You'd make a wonderful black widow spider!

775
00:42:47,818 --> 00:42:50,446
- Now, Chester...
- I am beginning to lose patience.

776
00:42:50,521 --> 00:42:53,957
- Gentlemen, we have to proceed.
- Proceed with him. He made the deal.

777
00:42:54,025 --> 00:42:55,083
Mr. Babcock...

778
00:42:55,159 --> 00:42:58,788
...have you any idea of the value
of the formula you carry in your mind?

779
00:42:58,863 --> 00:43:02,060
It may well prove
the salvation of the world.

780
00:43:02,233 --> 00:43:03,632
Salvation of the world?

781
00:43:03,701 --> 00:43:05,635
Yours is no ordinary mind.

782
00:43:05,703 --> 00:43:09,571
In your incredible brain
lies the combined mathematical genius...

783
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:13,303
...of Descartes, Newton, Da Vinci, Einstein!

784
00:43:13,911 --> 00:43:15,242
All those kids?

785
00:43:15,379 --> 00:43:17,779
- Tell me more.
- Better than that, I'll show you.

786
00:43:17,848 --> 00:43:18,940
Come.

787
00:43:19,317 --> 00:43:21,410
You heard what the man said. Come.

788
00:43:21,485 --> 00:43:23,077
Got to see this.

789
00:43:31,195 --> 00:43:34,358
Hey, look!
A school for television repairmen!

790
00:43:34,765 --> 00:43:37,791
I've seen hi-fi, but this is ridiculous!

791
00:43:37,868 --> 00:43:41,167
Now, if you'll take up your position
by the window.

792
00:43:42,873 --> 00:43:46,309
Gentlemen, you are witnessing
the Third Echelon in operation.

793
00:43:48,479 --> 00:43:50,572
Is that Roman candle for real?

794
00:43:50,881 --> 00:43:54,044
In that rocket, we are about to send
two animals around the moon...

795
00:43:54,118 --> 00:43:57,519
...and if we succeed,
we shall next send two men.

796
00:43:58,055 --> 00:43:59,454
And from the moon...

797
00:43:59,523 --> 00:44:01,957
...from that point of impenetrable power...

798
00:44:02,026 --> 00:44:04,221
...I shall go before the United Nations...

799
00:44:04,295 --> 00:44:09,096
...and demand that they accede
to our total and absolute control.

800
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,327
I think he rolls his own.

801
00:44:12,236 --> 00:44:15,467
Please, be serious.
Now, we've made a bargain.

802
00:44:15,539 --> 00:44:19,669
Without the fuel formula in Babcock's mind,
we can't be certain of success.

803
00:44:19,744 --> 00:44:21,905
Now please, cooperate.

804
00:44:21,979 --> 00:44:24,504
And without any further delay.

805
00:44:29,453 --> 00:44:33,412
Say, Mr. Ech, I don't want
to sound silly or anything...

806
00:44:33,491 --> 00:44:37,325
...and I know it's ridiculous, but supposing
the memory crackers don't work.

807
00:44:37,395 --> 00:44:39,056
What happens then?

808
00:44:39,130 --> 00:44:41,223
I'd rather not discuss that.

809
00:44:41,699 --> 00:44:43,894
That makes two of us.
Well, I'll be seeing you.

810
00:44:43,968 --> 00:44:46,766
Don't be a fool. Where you going?
There's $25,000 in this.

811
00:44:46,837 --> 00:44:48,896
If you leave, you run out
on your fellow man.

812
00:44:48,973 --> 00:44:50,304
That leaves my fellow women!

813
00:44:50,374 --> 00:44:52,604
Don't tell me you're going to chicken
out now!

814
00:44:52,677 --> 00:44:54,167
If necessary, I'll grow feathers!

815
00:44:54,245 --> 00:44:56,270
You might think of your country!

816
00:44:56,347 --> 00:44:57,939
Search your secret soul.

817
00:44:58,015 --> 00:45:00,483
- Ask your patriotic conscience what to do.
- I did.

818
00:45:00,551 --> 00:45:02,746
- What did it say?
- "Yankee, go home."

819
00:45:02,820 --> 00:45:05,118
You two can stay if you want,
but I'm going back.

820
00:45:05,189 --> 00:45:07,953
I'm going back to Hong Kong.
I'm going back to New York...

821
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:10,559
Where are you going?

822
00:45:10,628 --> 00:45:12,755
Back and tell him the formula.

823
00:45:14,532 --> 00:45:17,057
- Still nothing?
- Don't feel a thing.

824
00:45:17,334 --> 00:45:19,199
It worked beautifully yesterday.

825
00:45:19,270 --> 00:45:22,262
Come on, roll out the gangplank
one more time now, will you?

826
00:45:23,841 --> 00:45:25,206
Relax.

827
00:45:25,276 --> 00:45:28,268
Don't get panicky, apprehensive,
nervous, anxious or frightened.

828
00:45:28,345 --> 00:45:31,280
I'm not panicky, apprehensive,
nervous, anxious or frightened.

829
00:45:31,348 --> 00:45:32,337
Good.

830
00:45:32,416 --> 00:45:33,906
I'm petrified.

831
00:45:37,755 --> 00:45:40,053
Tea, sir. Ordinary Indian tea.

832
00:45:40,124 --> 00:45:42,752
Yeah, but very refreshing in a hot climate.

833
00:45:42,860 --> 00:45:44,122
It can't be tea.

834
00:45:44,195 --> 00:45:46,356
I got it.
The guy in the turban on the plane.

835
00:45:46,430 --> 00:45:48,091
He must have switched the stuff!

836
00:45:48,165 --> 00:45:49,632
We'll get it. Won't take a minute.

837
00:45:49,700 --> 00:45:51,634
We'll be back. Promise you won't go away.

838
00:45:51,702 --> 00:45:54,102
- Can we bring you anything?
- Corn-beef? Rice sundae?

839
00:45:54,171 --> 00:45:55,433
A chow mein pizza?

840
00:45:55,506 --> 00:45:56,768
- Be right back!
- Be right back!

841
00:45:56,841 --> 00:45:58,570
Be right back, yes, sir!

842
00:45:59,610 --> 00:46:00,702
Sir!

843
00:46:00,778 --> 00:46:04,771
We've received word, the Russians will
attempt a landing on the moon in 48 hours.

844
00:46:04,849 --> 00:46:06,783
- Is the rocket operative?
- All's ready, sir.

845
00:46:06,851 --> 00:46:09,843
Alert all personnel!
Start launching preparations!

846
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:11,182
Yes, sir.

847
00:46:11,689 --> 00:46:13,782
Sir, what about them?

848
00:46:14,058 --> 00:46:15,150
Them?

849
00:46:15,359 --> 00:46:16,621
Oh, them.

850
00:46:16,961 --> 00:46:19,828
Yes, I'm afraid we must dispose of them.

851
00:46:19,897 --> 00:46:21,694
How are we gonna get out of this?

852
00:46:21,766 --> 00:46:24,667
You tackle the guys
and I'll subdue the girl.

853
00:46:25,603 --> 00:46:28,504
Sir, there may be an alternative.

854
00:46:29,273 --> 00:46:32,003
If these two men were
to take the place of the two apes...

855
00:46:32,076 --> 00:46:34,601
...we'd be that much ahead
in our calculations.

856
00:46:34,678 --> 00:46:36,077
Replace the apes?

857
00:46:36,147 --> 00:46:40,106
That way, our tests would be
on human beings instead of animals.

858
00:46:43,754 --> 00:46:46,348
Gentlemen, you are about to be given...

859
00:46:46,423 --> 00:46:48,721
...the greatest opportunity
for immortality...

860
00:46:48,793 --> 00:46:50,852
...ever afforded to men on Earth.

861
00:46:51,028 --> 00:46:54,657
In a few moments, that rocket is
going to be sent round the moon.

862
00:46:55,065 --> 00:46:57,829
- And we're going to watch?
- From the inside.

863
00:46:57,902 --> 00:47:01,065
That's great. You know, I always wanted...

864
00:47:01,172 --> 00:47:03,834
- Inside?
- Inside the rocket?

865
00:47:03,941 --> 00:47:04,965
Precisely.

866
00:47:05,042 --> 00:47:07,010
We wouldn't want to take anybody's seat.

867
00:47:07,077 --> 00:47:08,305
You have the wrong kids.

868
00:47:08,379 --> 00:47:10,677
My nose bleeds
when I put my carpet slippers on.

869
00:47:10,748 --> 00:47:11,976
No way.

870
00:47:12,049 --> 00:47:15,018
Don't you see?
At least you can die like heroes.

871
00:47:15,085 --> 00:47:18,851
But we're too old to die.
If you only knew our real ages.

872
00:47:19,023 --> 00:47:20,615
Why, he's...

873
00:47:21,525 --> 00:47:23,493
Prepare them for flight.

874
00:47:23,761 --> 00:47:25,888
Prepare for flight?

875
00:47:28,165 --> 00:47:30,224
"Prepare for flight."

876
00:47:36,273 --> 00:47:37,740
They won't get away!

877
00:47:39,577 --> 00:47:41,101
Remember baby.

878
00:47:44,248 --> 00:47:47,081
Get those apes out of their spacesuits.

879
00:47:53,691 --> 00:47:56,091
- Dead end.
- This way.

880
00:48:06,337 --> 00:48:08,134
There must be some way out of this trap.

881
00:48:08,205 --> 00:48:10,139
Here, let's get into these things.

882
00:48:10,774 --> 00:48:12,833
Looks like Liberace's underwear.

883
00:48:12,910 --> 00:48:15,276
These are diving suits.
We'll walk to Hong Kong!

884
00:48:15,346 --> 00:48:18,543
No stopovers.
I'm going straight through to San Francisco.

885
00:48:20,150 --> 00:48:21,310
How are you doing there?

886
00:48:21,385 --> 00:48:23,853
Okay, but this guy must have had
pretty long arms.

887
00:48:23,921 --> 00:48:25,786
He could tie his shoes without bending.

888
00:48:25,856 --> 00:48:28,381
I think my guy must have had
his transmission lowered.

889
00:48:28,459 --> 00:48:31,553
Hey, you've got your own rumble seat.
Look at that!

890
00:48:31,629 --> 00:48:33,256
Who followed me then? Get your hat.

891
00:48:33,330 --> 00:48:36,128
- Did your girdle slip?
- Get your hat, let's get out of here.

892
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:38,600
This guy wasn't exactly
a perfume salesman, either.

893
00:48:38,669 --> 00:48:41,502
My guy had a few friends. Come on, let's go.

894
00:48:41,872 --> 00:48:44,898
- I can't straighten up.
- Regular cement jungle gym.

895
00:48:44,975 --> 00:48:47,273
Here, this way, over here.

896
00:48:48,479 --> 00:48:49,639
There's no door, no handle!

897
00:48:49,713 --> 00:48:52,113
- How do we get out of here?
- This way!

898
00:48:54,084 --> 00:48:56,484
Zorbb, is the rocket prepared for launching?

899
00:48:56,553 --> 00:48:58,851
- We're at the ready, sir.
- Activate the countdown.

900
00:48:58,923 --> 00:49:01,551
Attention!
This is a final warning to all personnel.

901
00:49:01,625 --> 00:49:04,219
The rocket is operational.
Begin your countdown.

902
00:49:04,295 --> 00:49:06,490
Why do you suppose they're sending us up?

903
00:49:06,563 --> 00:49:09,828
They want to find out
if it's going to be safe for the apes.

904
00:49:12,036 --> 00:49:15,904
Two, one, zero!

905
00:49:36,927 --> 00:49:38,292
This is the critical moment.

906
00:49:38,362 --> 00:49:42,093
Their bodies are subject to the
tremendous pull of gravitational force.

907
00:49:46,470 --> 00:49:48,404
Help!

908
00:49:48,872 --> 00:49:50,999
Have you got a headache?

909
00:49:51,742 --> 00:49:54,870
I would have, but I haven't got room for it.

910
00:49:57,014 --> 00:49:59,414
Help!

911
00:50:04,521 --> 00:50:06,113
What is their position now?

912
00:50:06,190 --> 00:50:09,057
Excellent. Altitude, 120 miles.

913
00:50:09,126 --> 00:50:11,754
They've escaped the Earth's
gravitational pull.

914
00:50:14,498 --> 00:50:18,366
What provision has been made to guarantee
the men's comfort and tranquility?

915
00:50:18,435 --> 00:50:20,403
We didn't have time to change the equipment.

916
00:50:20,471 --> 00:50:23,133
They'll have to use
the same tranquilizing devices...

917
00:50:23,207 --> 00:50:25,004
...that we planned for the apes.

918
00:50:25,476 --> 00:50:27,444
Put them into operation.

919
00:51:33,143 --> 00:51:34,474
What's gone wrong?

920
00:51:34,545 --> 00:51:37,605
They're passing through
an uncharted magnetic field.

921
00:51:37,681 --> 00:51:40,809
Their tranquilizing machines
may go out of sequence.

922
00:52:31,435 --> 00:52:32,663
Can you correct it?

923
00:52:32,736 --> 00:52:33,828
Negative.

924
00:52:33,904 --> 00:52:35,565
Then stop it.

925
00:52:41,712 --> 00:52:44,146
I'll never look at another banana split.

926
00:52:46,850 --> 00:52:48,317
Well, Zorbb?

927
00:52:48,485 --> 00:52:52,421
Their progress is very satisfactory.
Their altitude is 23,800 miles.

928
00:52:52,489 --> 00:52:55,049
Gentlemen,
may I have your attention, please?

929
00:52:55,125 --> 00:52:59,357
You are now in the upper stratosphere, on
course, and proceeding to your destination.

930
00:52:59,429 --> 00:53:03,525
You may feel free to walk about
and engage in any normal activity.

931
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:05,727
Let's case this bullet.

932
00:53:08,405 --> 00:53:10,600
This thing must be running on the rim!

933
00:53:12,109 --> 00:53:14,009
Hey, look!

934
00:53:16,180 --> 00:53:17,738
What's that?

935
00:53:17,948 --> 00:53:19,540
Could be my stomach!

936
00:53:19,616 --> 00:53:21,174
Buck up.

937
00:53:21,251 --> 00:53:22,775
Don't press it.

938
00:53:28,892 --> 00:53:31,725
- The rocket's going off course!
- It's angled for the moon!

939
00:53:31,795 --> 00:53:32,853
Will they crash?

940
00:53:32,930 --> 00:53:36,195
- Do something, Zorbb.
- I'm trying.

941
00:53:39,670 --> 00:53:41,661
What's that big white thing coming at us?

942
00:53:41,738 --> 00:53:43,330
That's the moon.

943
00:53:43,407 --> 00:53:45,432
I wonder if this thing has
an emergency cord.

944
00:53:45,509 --> 00:53:46,533
Stop worrying.

945
00:53:46,610 --> 00:53:49,511
If we get to the moon first,
we'll clean up on real estate.

946
00:53:49,580 --> 00:53:52,606
You've got to change course.
The lunar glare is dangerous.

947
00:53:52,683 --> 00:53:54,810
It can affect them mentally.

948
00:54:02,626 --> 00:54:05,527
You'd better cover up.
That stuff's awful bright.

949
00:54:07,097 --> 00:54:11,898
"The square root of 17 times 'X' to
the 22nd power over the quotient of 'Y'..."

950
00:54:11,969 --> 00:54:13,334
Get away from there.

951
00:54:13,403 --> 00:54:14,597
What?

952
00:54:14,671 --> 00:54:17,003
- What was that stuff you were saying?
- Stuff?

953
00:54:17,074 --> 00:54:18,166
We're getting closer.

954
00:54:18,242 --> 00:54:19,766
Mechanical gyrations.

955
00:54:19,843 --> 00:54:21,868
I think we're gonna crash!

956
00:54:34,458 --> 00:54:37,825
Well done, Zorbb.
Now then, bring them back to Earth.

957
00:54:40,731 --> 00:54:42,824
Show me their probable point of reentry.

958
00:54:42,899 --> 00:54:44,662
Are you sure you can keep track of them?

959
00:54:44,735 --> 00:54:46,100
Let's see.

960
00:54:46,303 --> 00:54:50,103
98 degrees solar longitude,
48 degrees spatial latitude.

961
00:54:50,173 --> 00:54:51,640
There we are!

962
00:54:51,742 --> 00:54:53,334
They're heading right for Hong Kong.

963
00:55:01,085 --> 00:55:02,746
Release the parachute!

964
00:55:08,993 --> 00:55:11,553
Submarine 'B,' embark immediately.

965
00:55:21,572 --> 00:55:25,064
Well done. Indeed, both of you.

966
00:55:26,143 --> 00:55:29,374
Congratulations!
I'm so glad you found your way back to us!

967
00:55:29,614 --> 00:55:30,638
It's nothing.

968
00:55:30,715 --> 00:55:34,913
I hope you won't mind my own personal way
of welcoming our first astronauts.

969
00:55:36,020 --> 00:55:38,682
It sure beats being kissed by Khrushchev.

970
00:55:39,090 --> 00:55:40,751
And you, too, Chester...

971
00:55:40,958 --> 00:55:43,756
...honored hero of the Third Echelon.

972
00:55:51,936 --> 00:55:53,995
"Top Secret. Rocket fuel formula."

973
00:55:54,071 --> 00:55:57,700
"The basic element necessary
in maximum thrust is equivalent to Mach 5."

974
00:55:57,775 --> 00:56:01,370
"Atmospheric density is equal
to 4-5 'X' times the square root of..."

975
00:56:01,445 --> 00:56:03,538
"...679 degrees of escape velocity..."

976
00:56:03,614 --> 00:56:06,583
"...of the times 28 escape velocity..."

977
00:56:07,585 --> 00:56:09,485
Take them to their quarters.

978
00:56:09,554 --> 00:56:10,646
Come!

979
00:56:14,191 --> 00:56:16,682
Zorbb, are you quite sure you have a drug...

980
00:56:16,761 --> 00:56:19,423
...that will release the formula
from this idiot's mind?

981
00:56:19,497 --> 00:56:20,623
Absolutely.

982
00:56:20,698 --> 00:56:21,995
Excellent.

983
00:56:22,066 --> 00:56:24,933
Diane, my dear,
your bringing these men here...

984
00:56:25,002 --> 00:56:27,971
...has been a service of inestimable value.

985
00:56:28,039 --> 00:56:31,065
Not only will Babcock's brain,
such as it is...

986
00:56:31,142 --> 00:56:33,474
...give us the precious fuel formula...

987
00:56:33,544 --> 00:56:36,172
...their bodies will provide
vital information...

988
00:56:36,247 --> 00:56:38,943
...to combat the hazards
of future space travel.

989
00:56:39,016 --> 00:56:40,040
Their bodies, sir?

990
00:56:40,117 --> 00:56:42,551
Certainly. Microscopic tests
of their vital organs.

991
00:56:42,620 --> 00:56:46,215
After you've gotten the formula,
then you're going to dissect them?

992
00:56:46,290 --> 00:56:48,451
Purely in the interests of science.

993
00:56:48,526 --> 00:56:50,460
That means that they must die.

994
00:56:50,528 --> 00:56:52,758
Only that millions may live.

995
00:56:53,164 --> 00:56:56,463
But, sir, it seems unnecessarily cruel.

996
00:56:56,634 --> 00:56:58,625
Science is often cruel, Diane.

997
00:56:58,703 --> 00:57:02,230
I don't like human sacrifice
any more than Dr. Zorbb.

998
00:57:02,473 --> 00:57:03,770
Do you, Zorbb?

999
00:57:03,841 --> 00:57:05,672
On the whole, I dislike it, sir.

1000
00:57:05,743 --> 00:57:06,835
You see?

1001
00:57:06,911 --> 00:57:09,675
But our duty to our fellow men
demands that we set aside...

1002
00:57:09,747 --> 00:57:12,113
...all personal feeling and sentimentality.

1003
00:57:12,183 --> 00:57:14,208
Surely, you must see that.

1004
00:57:15,553 --> 00:57:18,147
Yes, sir. I suppose I do.

1005
00:57:18,222 --> 00:57:20,690
Very well. Now then, first things first.

1006
00:57:20,758 --> 00:57:22,419
How do we get the formula?

1007
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:25,458
First, they must be completely
unaware of our plans.

1008
00:57:25,529 --> 00:57:26,553
Yes.

1009
00:57:26,631 --> 00:57:27,893
Before we can work on them...

1010
00:57:27,965 --> 00:57:30,934
...they'll have to be in a state
of tranquility and relaxation.

1011
00:57:31,002 --> 00:57:31,991
I see.

1012
00:57:32,069 --> 00:57:34,367
Everything that can pacify, tranquilize...

1013
00:57:34,438 --> 00:57:38,465
...bring joy to the hearts of two men
such as these must be provided.

1014
00:57:38,542 --> 00:57:39,941
So it will.

1015
00:57:48,586 --> 00:57:52,420
Ming Toy, dear girl.
A little higher, to the right, please.

1016
00:57:52,490 --> 00:57:54,151
Hit me, Poon Soon.

1017
00:58:00,898 --> 00:58:04,061
If I find out this is fattening,
I'll kill myself.

1018
00:58:06,370 --> 00:58:09,271
You'll have to get a softer brush.
You're bruising me.

1019
00:58:09,774 --> 00:58:11,264
Is this heaven?

1020
00:58:11,442 --> 00:58:13,876
Yeah. And I don't even remember dying.

1021
00:58:14,078 --> 00:58:17,605
You know, I feel like a contest winner.
But it's a little wearing.

1022
00:58:18,015 --> 00:58:21,883
Another two or three hours of this,
and I may have to get my lips re-treaded.

1023
00:58:24,555 --> 00:58:26,853
The master says they're ready upstairs.

1024
00:58:26,924 --> 00:58:29,757
If he thinks they're ready upstairs,
he should be down here.

1025
00:58:29,827 --> 00:58:31,192
Bring him!

1026
00:58:31,262 --> 00:58:32,559
Bring what?

1027
00:58:32,630 --> 00:58:36,066
What kind of a caper is this?
Now be careful.

1028
00:58:36,133 --> 00:58:39,125
Please! Don't drop any of the goodies!

1029
00:58:40,204 --> 00:58:41,728
Where are you going with the team?

1030
00:58:41,806 --> 00:58:45,242
I don't know, but if I'm not back
in two or three hours, don't send help.

1031
00:58:45,309 --> 00:58:47,106
I'll muddle through somehow.

1032
00:58:47,178 --> 00:58:48,702
It's rough.

1033
00:58:54,018 --> 00:58:55,417
Hello there.

1034
00:59:00,257 --> 00:59:03,693
- Are you quite comfortable?
- Sure.

1035
00:59:03,861 --> 00:59:05,123
You have everything you want?

1036
00:59:05,196 --> 00:59:07,926
A little soft music. That'd be clever.

1037
00:59:08,265 --> 00:59:09,289
Of course.

1038
00:59:09,366 --> 00:59:12,426
You know, about 30 or 40 violins throbbing.

1039
00:59:13,804 --> 00:59:15,362
That's very moody.

1040
00:59:16,073 --> 00:59:19,167
You think a little soft lighting
would be effective?

1041
00:59:19,910 --> 00:59:21,138
Hit it.

1042
00:59:23,547 --> 00:59:25,538
Yes, now we're building.

1043
00:59:25,716 --> 00:59:29,482
We want you to be as happy as you can
before you leave us.

1044
00:59:29,553 --> 00:59:31,350
When's that gonna be?

1045
00:59:31,522 --> 00:59:33,513
I'm afraid very soon.

1046
00:59:34,325 --> 00:59:37,317
Any chance you cutting out with me?

1047
00:59:38,262 --> 00:59:41,026
Sorry, that's just not possible.

1048
00:59:42,199 --> 00:59:46,568
I got a hunch that you and I
could make it pretty good.

1049
00:59:47,304 --> 00:59:48,669
Please.

1050
00:59:48,739 --> 00:59:51,469
- Please, stop saying those things.
- Why?

1051
00:59:51,876 --> 00:59:54,344
Because it just doesn't make sense.

1052
00:59:54,411 --> 00:59:56,743
I don't see why everything
has to make sense.

1053
00:59:57,181 --> 01:00:02,175
People like us have got to make sense
and be practical and logical.

1054
01:00:03,487 --> 01:00:08,220
"Let's not be sensible"

1055
01:00:08,292 --> 01:00:13,161
"Let's not be practical"

1056
01:00:13,230 --> 01:00:16,597
"Let's just start acting"

1057
01:00:16,667 --> 01:00:20,467
"Like people in love"

1058
01:00:22,506 --> 01:00:25,270
"Others may run"

1059
01:00:26,043 --> 01:00:29,012
"From romances"

1060
01:00:30,314 --> 01:00:32,874
"But I for one"

1061
01:00:32,950 --> 01:00:35,441
"Want to take the fun"

1062
01:00:35,653 --> 01:00:37,917
"And the chances"

1063
01:00:40,524 --> 01:00:45,052
"We could be so comfortable"

1064
01:00:45,129 --> 01:00:49,862
"If you'd be affable"

1065
01:00:49,934 --> 01:00:53,233
"One kiss could leave me"

1066
01:00:53,304 --> 01:00:57,070
"As limp as a glove"

1067
01:00:59,176 --> 01:01:04,170
"Anything else we'd think of"

1068
01:01:06,617 --> 01:01:11,611
"Is incomprehensible"

1069
01:01:12,389 --> 01:01:16,553
"Let's not be sensible"

1070
01:01:16,627 --> 01:01:21,064
"Let's just start falling in..."

1071
01:01:21,131 --> 01:01:25,534
"Let's please be sensible"

1072
01:01:25,603 --> 01:01:30,199
"Let's please be practical"

1073
01:01:30,274 --> 01:01:34,267
"Let's not start acting like"

1074
01:01:35,446 --> 01:01:37,914
"People in love"

1075
01:01:39,049 --> 01:01:42,541
"Anything else"

1076
01:01:42,620 --> 01:01:45,111
"We'd think of"

1077
01:01:47,258 --> 01:01:52,252
"Is incomprehensible"

1078
01:01:52,763 --> 01:01:56,893
"Let's not be sensible"

1079
01:01:56,967 --> 01:02:01,961
"Let's just start falling in..."

1080
01:02:03,274 --> 01:02:06,141
"Let's please"

1081
01:02:06,777 --> 01:02:08,870
"Be sensible"

1082
01:02:09,179 --> 01:02:12,080
"Let's please..."

1083
01:02:13,651 --> 01:02:14,811
Diane!

1084
01:02:15,452 --> 01:02:17,977
Report to the laboratory immediately.

1085
01:02:18,289 --> 01:02:19,449
Yes, sir.

1086
01:02:19,523 --> 01:02:20,888
- Hey!
- Not now.

1087
01:02:20,958 --> 01:02:21,982
- When?
- Later.

1088
01:02:22,059 --> 01:02:23,424
- Where?
- My apartment.

1089
01:02:23,494 --> 01:02:25,257
Okay, I'll be there.

1090
01:02:29,633 --> 01:02:31,294
I can't understand it.

1091
01:02:31,535 --> 01:02:34,026
We know he has the formula on his mind.

1092
01:02:34,104 --> 01:02:38,370
When Dr. Zorbb administered the drug,
he remembered nothing and fell to sleep.

1093
01:02:38,609 --> 01:02:42,340
Do you remember what you did
when he spoke those few lines of formula?

1094
01:02:42,980 --> 01:02:47,576
Yes, I just moved in to him, like this,
and kissed him on the cheek, like that.

1095
01:02:47,885 --> 01:02:49,113
The earrings!

1096
01:02:49,186 --> 01:02:50,278
Earrings?

1097
01:02:50,354 --> 01:02:54,552
Don't you see? Moon-shaped earrings.
He's suffering from moonomania.

1098
01:02:54,625 --> 01:02:55,990
Moonomania?

1099
01:02:56,160 --> 01:02:59,254
Yes, it's a conditioned reflex
that crystallizes his superego...

1100
01:02:59,330 --> 01:03:01,321
...allowing the unconscious to come through.

1101
01:03:01,398 --> 01:03:04,128
You mean he's susceptible
to any image of the moon?

1102
01:03:04,535 --> 01:03:07,834
Particularly when his attention
is sharply focused.

1103
01:03:08,005 --> 01:03:10,701
His mind is in a peculiar state of balance.

1104
01:03:10,774 --> 01:03:14,801
Any undue strain and he could easily
be pushed into a state of lunacy.

1105
01:03:14,878 --> 01:03:17,142
Then we'd lose the formula forever.

1106
01:03:17,214 --> 01:03:19,808
Well, how do we proceed?

1107
01:03:20,050 --> 01:03:21,540
Diane.

1108
01:03:22,953 --> 01:03:24,113
Diane.

1109
01:03:24,355 --> 01:03:27,188
- Sir?
- He'll be brought to your quarters.

1110
01:03:27,257 --> 01:03:30,124
I needn't tell you what
this means to the cause.

1111
01:03:30,194 --> 01:03:31,354
Quite.

1112
01:03:31,729 --> 01:03:34,630
I don't have to say any more, do I?

1113
01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:39,967
- You'll get the formula, sir.
- Good girl.

1114
01:04:04,461 --> 01:04:05,655
Chester.

1115
01:04:10,534 --> 01:04:11,865
Come in.

1116
01:04:14,505 --> 01:04:16,973
Where am I? How did I get here?

1117
01:04:17,041 --> 01:04:18,838
What am I doing here?

1118
01:04:20,210 --> 01:04:22,644
Why am I asking these silly questions?

1119
01:04:24,848 --> 01:04:28,841
- You're here because I requested you.
- Good thinking.

1120
01:04:29,620 --> 01:04:33,647
Don't you think it's about time
you and I really got to know each other?

1121
01:04:33,924 --> 01:04:35,414
We're overdue.

1122
01:04:36,593 --> 01:04:40,290
Do you have any idea
of the kind of woman I really am?

1123
01:04:40,364 --> 01:04:42,264
No, but I have high hopes.

1124
01:04:42,332 --> 01:04:43,856
I'll tell you what I'm like.

1125
01:04:44,134 --> 01:04:46,602
I know what I want when I see what I want.

1126
01:04:46,703 --> 01:04:49,171
And when I see what I want, I want it.

1127
01:04:49,473 --> 01:04:51,031
- Do you see it?
- I see it.

1128
01:04:51,108 --> 01:04:52,439
- You want it?
- I want it.

1129
01:04:52,509 --> 01:04:53,874
You got it.

1130
01:04:54,211 --> 01:04:57,112
You mind if I move a little closer?

1131
01:04:57,247 --> 01:04:58,976
Live a little.

1132
01:04:59,383 --> 01:05:02,682
Chester, you're such a dear, sweet man.

1133
01:05:02,753 --> 01:05:07,349
Brave, masculine, irresistible.

1134
01:05:07,424 --> 01:05:10,655
I don't know.
I'm just your ordinary, everyday astronaut.

1135
01:05:10,894 --> 01:05:12,555
Don't be modest.

1136
01:05:12,729 --> 01:05:17,393
You know, Chester,
you're the sort of man that I could love.

1137
01:05:17,468 --> 01:05:18,662
Could you?

1138
01:05:18,769 --> 01:05:20,794
Yes, I could, Chester.

1139
01:05:20,971 --> 01:05:24,065
I could love you, body and soul.

1140
01:05:24,508 --> 01:05:26,908
They're available, in that order.

1141
01:05:27,377 --> 01:05:30,869
Hold me, Chester. Hold me closer.

1142
01:05:33,584 --> 01:05:37,418
She'll get the formula at any moment now.
Start the recording.

1143
01:05:39,289 --> 01:05:40,916
Talk to me, Chester.

1144
01:05:40,991 --> 01:05:43,323
Talk is for amateurs.
You're working with a pro.

1145
01:05:43,393 --> 01:05:45,452
Please, just talk to me.

1146
01:05:45,529 --> 01:05:47,224
Well, pick a subject.

1147
01:05:49,166 --> 01:05:52,363
What did you think of me,
that first day at the airport?

1148
01:05:52,436 --> 01:05:55,997
I took one look at you and I knew that...

1149
01:05:56,340 --> 01:05:58,205
"...the quadrant of the escape velocity..."

1150
01:05:58,275 --> 01:06:01,176
"...equals the speed of trajectory
minus the initial thrust..."

1151
01:06:01,245 --> 01:06:04,510
"...so that the combustion ratio
of the higher-octane fuel element..."

1152
01:06:04,581 --> 01:06:07,709
Go on, darling.
What happens when you think about me?

1153
01:06:07,784 --> 01:06:09,843
When I think of you, I think of...

1154
01:06:09,920 --> 01:06:11,512
"...dual carburetors."

1155
01:06:11,588 --> 01:06:12,850
Dual carburetors?

1156
01:06:12,923 --> 01:06:14,254
"Marvelous dual carburetors..."

1157
01:06:14,324 --> 01:06:15,348
Yes?

1158
01:06:15,425 --> 01:06:19,589
"...which will enable the intake
manifold to accelerate dynamically."

1159
01:06:20,831 --> 01:06:22,958
Yes, what does that do, Chester?

1160
01:06:23,033 --> 01:06:26,298
"Increases escape velocity."

1161
01:06:27,171 --> 01:06:28,536
Those carburetors!

1162
01:06:28,605 --> 01:06:30,539
Don't stop, Chester. Keep talking.

1163
01:06:30,607 --> 01:06:32,632
Those dual carburetors...

1164
01:06:32,709 --> 01:06:34,040
Yes, Chester?

1165
01:06:34,111 --> 01:06:36,045
"...which relieve the digital computers..."

1166
01:06:36,113 --> 01:06:37,842
"...and the escape velocity..."

1167
01:06:37,915 --> 01:06:39,280
Go on, Chester.

1168
01:06:39,349 --> 01:06:41,249
I'd rather go back to dual carburetors.

1169
01:06:41,318 --> 01:06:42,979
What happens next, Chester?

1170
01:06:43,053 --> 01:06:46,216
"The escape velocity reaches
three times the speed of sound..."

1171
01:06:46,290 --> 01:06:47,917
"...dynamically..."

1172
01:06:47,991 --> 01:06:49,515
How much more?

1173
01:06:49,927 --> 01:06:53,260
He's nearing the final phase.
But I'm getting concerned about Diane.

1174
01:06:53,330 --> 01:06:54,456
Concerned?

1175
01:06:54,531 --> 01:06:57,295
She's showing dangerously
sentimental tendencies.

1176
01:06:57,367 --> 01:06:58,459
Look.

1177
01:06:58,535 --> 01:07:00,765
Chester, you're such a dear.

1178
01:07:01,438 --> 01:07:03,201
Please, hold me closer.

1179
01:07:03,273 --> 01:07:05,935
I want to marry you. I want the whole bit.

1180
01:07:06,009 --> 01:07:07,033
Chester.

1181
01:07:07,110 --> 01:07:09,442
Because I love you. I love your eyes.

1182
01:07:09,513 --> 01:07:11,504
I love your skin, I love your...

1183
01:07:11,582 --> 01:07:13,379
"...dual carburetors."

1184
01:07:13,450 --> 01:07:14,576
Do you really?

1185
01:07:14,651 --> 01:07:18,246
"And when your lower octane component
mixes with your nuclear distillate...

1186
01:07:18,855 --> 01:07:20,755
"...on a ratio three times the quotient..."

1187
01:07:20,824 --> 01:07:22,815
"...of your reverse thrust manipulator..."

1188
01:07:22,893 --> 01:07:25,327
Brave Chester, pathetic Chester.

1189
01:07:25,395 --> 01:07:26,419
"...which is equal to..."

1190
01:07:26,496 --> 01:07:27,724
Doomed Chester.

1191
01:07:27,798 --> 01:07:31,029
"...the sum of your numerators
multiplied by your square roots."

1192
01:07:31,168 --> 01:07:33,762
Believe me, you've got
the squarest roots I've ever seen.

1193
01:07:33,837 --> 01:07:36,305
No, stop! I can't let you go on anymore!

1194
01:07:36,373 --> 01:07:37,431
Diane!

1195
01:07:37,507 --> 01:07:38,633
Yes, sir.

1196
01:07:38,709 --> 01:07:41,041
You will come to the office at once!

1197
01:07:41,111 --> 01:07:42,169
Yes, sir.

1198
01:07:42,246 --> 01:07:44,146
Hey, wait a minute. Where are you going?

1199
01:07:44,214 --> 01:07:46,512
I have to go. But Chester...

1200
01:07:46,583 --> 01:07:49,746
Dear, sweet, darling, adorable Chester.

1201
01:07:49,820 --> 01:07:51,117
Comes through, doesn't it?

1202
01:07:51,188 --> 01:07:54,123
Trust me, and you'll come to no harm.

1203
01:07:54,191 --> 01:07:56,591
Trust me, and I make no promises.

1204
01:07:56,693 --> 01:07:57,921
Goodbye.

1205
01:08:00,764 --> 01:08:01,992
I'll be back.

1206
01:08:02,065 --> 01:08:03,396
Naturally.

1207
01:08:05,636 --> 01:08:09,003
You beast. You've still got it, haven't you?

1208
01:08:11,108 --> 01:08:14,202
I may package it
and call it "Instant Charm."

1209
01:08:14,378 --> 01:08:15,970
Darling, back already?

1210
01:08:16,046 --> 01:08:18,844
You brought flowers. That's unnecessary.

1211
01:08:20,250 --> 01:08:21,615
What are you doing here?

1212
01:08:21,685 --> 01:08:23,016
I just fell off a porpoise.

1213
01:08:23,086 --> 01:08:25,179
I thought I'd pop in
and borrow a cup of rice.

1214
01:08:25,255 --> 01:08:28,588
That's nice, but I'm saving all my rice
for a forthcoming wedding.

1215
01:08:28,659 --> 01:08:32,186
How sweet, how terribly sweet.
Then Diane has told you about us.

1216
01:08:32,262 --> 01:08:34,025
Yes, and better luck with the next girl.

1217
01:08:34,097 --> 01:08:35,655
I have a late flash for you, junior.

1218
01:08:35,732 --> 01:08:39,896
I happen to be here by invitation of the
lovely occupant of this cozy little pad.

1219
01:08:39,970 --> 01:08:41,494
I'll tell her when she comes back.

1220
01:08:41,571 --> 01:08:43,232
- You'll tell her?
- Thanks for these.

1221
01:08:43,307 --> 01:08:45,707
Where are you going with the greenery?
Just a minute.

1222
01:08:45,776 --> 01:08:47,744
That's nice. Don't call us, we'll call you.

1223
01:08:47,811 --> 01:08:49,369
And use the servants' entrance, will you?

1224
01:08:49,713 --> 01:08:52,147
You were acting directly against my orders.

1225
01:08:52,215 --> 01:08:54,240
I couldn't help it, sir.

1226
01:08:54,318 --> 01:08:57,913
I knew that the moment I had the formula
they both had to die.

1227
01:08:58,855 --> 01:09:00,846
An hour ago, she flipped over me.

1228
01:09:00,924 --> 01:09:03,051
- I don't dig it.
- That's understandable.

1229
01:09:03,126 --> 01:09:06,254
An impressionable young thing
falls for an elderly fellow.

1230
01:09:06,330 --> 01:09:08,491
She probably thought you
were a father figure.

1231
01:09:08,565 --> 01:09:09,623
Father figure?

1232
01:09:09,700 --> 01:09:12,168
Yes, then she realized
you had your father's figure.

1233
01:09:12,235 --> 01:09:14,203
That's clever, that's very good.

1234
01:09:14,271 --> 01:09:15,738
Kind of fit, didn't it?

1235
01:09:15,806 --> 01:09:16,932
- Please.
- What's the matter?

1236
01:09:17,007 --> 01:09:20,465
Don't do that. We find it difficult
getting help down here in the deep.

1237
01:09:20,544 --> 01:09:22,705
- I still don't understand.
- We have to be tidy.

1238
01:09:22,779 --> 01:09:25,543
She was there, I sang the song,
everything seemed to be...

1239
01:09:25,615 --> 01:09:28,584
Look, Harry, sit down.
Let me give you the scam on romance.

1240
01:09:28,652 --> 01:09:30,313
You see, some fellas have it...

1241
01:09:30,387 --> 01:09:31,820
- Yeah?
...and some fellas don't.

1242
01:09:31,888 --> 01:09:34,857
When I get back from my honeymoon,
if I have an hour or two...

1243
01:09:34,925 --> 01:09:36,449
...I may loan you some.

1244
01:09:36,526 --> 01:09:37,720
Yeah, I'll have it analyzed.

1245
01:09:37,794 --> 01:09:40,854
Yes, well don't take it too hard.

1246
01:09:40,931 --> 01:09:42,558
I want you to stay for the wedding...

1247
01:09:42,632 --> 01:09:46,329
...because after all,
we'll need a fat flower girl and I think...

1248
01:09:46,536 --> 01:09:48,094
Diane, I want the truth.

1249
01:09:48,338 --> 01:09:51,364
The plain, dispassionate, unadorned truth.

1250
01:09:51,441 --> 01:09:52,840
Why did you stop?

1251
01:09:52,909 --> 01:09:57,209
You were within two sentences of getting
the complete formula off Babcock's mind.

1252
01:09:57,280 --> 01:09:58,975
I couldn't help it, sir.

1253
01:09:59,049 --> 01:10:01,415
I kept seeing them on the operating table...

1254
01:10:01,485 --> 01:10:04,352
...being dissected, organ by organ.

1255
01:10:04,521 --> 01:10:07,012
That's the last time I get mixed up
with a med student.

1256
01:10:07,090 --> 01:10:08,648
- C'mon, let's blow!
- Wait. Look!

1257
01:10:08,725 --> 01:10:11,660
Please, sir, won't you spare them?

1258
01:10:11,728 --> 01:10:15,494
You seem to have grown
inordinately fond of these men.

1259
01:10:15,599 --> 01:10:17,464
Yes, it's true.

1260
01:10:17,901 --> 01:10:20,392
I do like them both, very much.

1261
01:10:20,937 --> 01:10:22,234
How about that?

1262
01:10:22,305 --> 01:10:23,738
This kid's in trouble.

1263
01:10:23,807 --> 01:10:26,970
Personal sentimentality has
no place in our movement.

1264
01:10:27,043 --> 01:10:28,635
Surely, sir, humanity demands...

1265
01:10:28,712 --> 01:10:31,909
I'll decide what humanity demands,
and I'll decide it my own way.

1266
01:10:31,982 --> 01:10:36,282
I'll deal with humanity as I please,
and I'll do with humanity as I choose!

1267
01:10:36,353 --> 01:10:39,447
And I'll do it from the moon
with my radial-lunar bombs!

1268
01:10:39,589 --> 01:10:41,523
Surely you don't intend to use those bombs!

1269
01:10:41,591 --> 01:10:46,494
Just enough to rid us of the tiresome
unemployed, the tedious, unwashed masses.

1270
01:10:46,563 --> 01:10:50,090
I'll level London and New York,
Rome and Moscow...

1271
01:10:50,167 --> 01:10:54,570
...Paris and Tokyo,
outmoded centers of a decadent civilization.

1272
01:10:54,638 --> 01:10:58,938
I'll rebuild the world according to my
image, after my own specifications!

1273
01:10:59,009 --> 01:11:02,172
How about this guy?
We get killed and he wins an Academy Award.

1274
01:11:02,245 --> 01:11:05,078
Sounds more like Adolf than Oscar.
Let's get out of here.

1275
01:11:05,315 --> 01:11:07,010
You're stark, raving mad.

1276
01:11:07,083 --> 01:11:10,541
But not blind.
I can still recognize a traitor. Seize her.

1277
01:11:10,620 --> 01:11:13,851
Can we get the formula
off that idiot's mind without her?

1278
01:11:13,924 --> 01:11:16,722
For the final equation,
any moon symbol will do.

1279
01:11:16,793 --> 01:11:18,920
Very well, then.
Dispose of our little friend.

1280
01:11:18,995 --> 01:11:21,828
See that the sharks are not kept waiting.

1281
01:11:27,671 --> 01:11:30,640
- How do we get out of here?
- The submarine. I can handle it.

1282
01:11:30,707 --> 01:11:32,436
I know. I read the script.

1283
01:11:32,509 --> 01:11:33,874
Come on.

1284
01:11:38,448 --> 01:11:41,474
Attention! Emergency!
All security personnel!

1285
01:11:41,551 --> 01:11:43,280
Babcock, Turner and Diane have escaped.

1286
01:11:43,353 --> 01:11:46,220
Apprehend them and get the rest of
the formula from Babcock...

1287
01:11:46,289 --> 01:11:47,881
...and I don't care how.

1288
01:12:28,365 --> 01:12:30,333
Cover that side. You go up there.

1289
01:12:33,770 --> 01:12:34,964
Wait, over there!

1290
01:12:35,038 --> 01:12:36,972
Weve got to get out of these clothes!

1291
01:12:37,040 --> 01:12:39,600
Yeah, if we could only get
something like that.

1292
01:12:39,843 --> 01:12:41,674
That's no problem.

1293
01:12:41,745 --> 01:12:44,077
Hey, Special Effects!

1294
01:12:44,147 --> 01:12:46,047
Us, them!

1295
01:12:48,351 --> 01:12:49,511
Gosh.

1296
01:12:49,586 --> 01:12:52,316
Hey, thanks!
You saved us doing a whole scene!

1297
01:12:52,389 --> 01:12:54,186
You see, we'd have to...

1298
01:12:55,525 --> 01:12:56,890
Here they are!

1299
01:13:24,754 --> 01:13:26,381
We've got to get to the police!

1300
01:13:26,456 --> 01:13:28,549
- How far?
- Two blocks.

1301
01:13:28,625 --> 01:13:30,593
- No!
- No way to get through there.

1302
01:13:30,660 --> 01:13:32,753
There must be something we can do.

1303
01:13:32,829 --> 01:13:35,889
The rickshaw. It's our only chance!

1304
01:13:39,169 --> 01:13:42,730
- Grab the poles, quick!
- Okay. Wait a minute.

1305
01:13:42,806 --> 01:13:44,000
What's the matter?

1306
01:13:44,074 --> 01:13:46,338
How come I always pull and you always ride?

1307
01:13:46,409 --> 01:13:48,707
Nature of the relationship.
Brains versus brawn.

1308
01:13:48,778 --> 01:13:50,211
You think you've got the brains?

1309
01:13:50,280 --> 01:13:51,611
- How much is two and two?
- Four.

1310
01:13:51,681 --> 01:13:52,739
- Four and four?
- Eight.

1311
01:13:52,816 --> 01:13:55,114
- Eight and eight?
- Get in.

1312
01:13:57,320 --> 01:14:00,517
Hey! Which way?

1313
01:14:01,791 --> 01:14:03,190
Got a match?

1314
01:14:04,127 --> 01:14:05,492
Never mind.

1315
01:14:09,766 --> 01:14:11,461
Hung up, eh?

1316
01:14:11,534 --> 01:14:14,594
That's what you get
for playing in these Chinese Westerns.

1317
01:14:14,671 --> 01:14:17,071
They'll string 'em up every time.

1318
01:14:18,575 --> 01:14:20,372
Here we go again!

1319
01:14:20,443 --> 01:14:22,343
Let's hide in here!

1320
01:14:25,715 --> 01:14:27,182
There's only one thing to do.

1321
01:14:27,250 --> 01:14:30,742
You've got to get Chester out of Hong Kong.
Go take the first plane.

1322
01:14:30,820 --> 01:14:32,287
How? We've no money...

1323
01:14:32,355 --> 01:14:35,119
I've got $500 in a locker
at the airport for an emergency.

1324
01:14:35,191 --> 01:14:37,421
Take the key, I'll try and reach the police.

1325
01:14:37,494 --> 01:14:39,553
Meanwhile, good luck, and goodbye.

1326
01:14:39,629 --> 01:14:40,687
You, too, Chester.

1327
01:14:40,764 --> 01:14:43,631
Take care of yourself,
because if anything happens to your...

1328
01:14:43,700 --> 01:14:46,430
"...thrust propellant ratio
of the atmospheric density..."

1329
01:14:46,503 --> 01:14:48,334
Chester!

1330
01:14:50,306 --> 01:14:51,739
Good luck.

1331
01:15:08,258 --> 01:15:10,226
You two, cover that side of the street.

1332
01:15:10,560 --> 01:15:12,221
Come on. In here.

1333
01:15:15,932 --> 01:15:19,197
You select which fish you want,
I give good Chinese meal.

1334
01:15:19,536 --> 01:15:21,299
I'll take that one.

1335
01:15:22,338 --> 01:15:24,238
Let's get out. There must be a back way.

1336
01:15:24,307 --> 01:15:25,865
- You got the key?
- Right here.

1337
01:15:25,942 --> 01:15:27,000
- Give it to me.
- What for?

1338
01:15:27,077 --> 01:15:28,408
- I'm still the treasurer.
- So?

1339
01:15:28,478 --> 01:15:33,245
So if the stuff's still in the treasurer's head,
the key is in the treasurer's hand, so give it.

1340
01:15:33,717 --> 01:15:35,651
- Very clever.
- Why didn't you hand it to me?

1341
01:15:35,719 --> 01:15:36,743
You blew the stuff.

1342
01:15:36,820 --> 01:15:38,617
- Who's got it?
- I think that one.

1343
01:15:38,688 --> 01:15:40,053
He's heavier. See how he acts?

1344
01:15:40,123 --> 01:15:42,421
- The one that looks like Jackie Gleason?
- No.

1345
01:15:50,700 --> 01:15:52,167
I think it was that one.

1346
01:15:52,235 --> 01:15:54,999
- Which one was it?
- Which one's got the key?

1347
01:15:55,071 --> 01:15:58,507
- Who knows? We'll have to buy them all.
- With what? We have no money.

1348
01:15:58,575 --> 01:16:01,066
We'll borrow them. This one, right here.

1349
01:16:03,613 --> 01:16:05,877
Here, what you do with my fish?

1350
01:16:06,382 --> 01:16:08,407
- You the proprietor here?
- Ah, so.

1351
01:16:08,485 --> 01:16:10,953
Mr. Ahso. Say,
you got pretty filthy joint here.

1352
01:16:11,020 --> 01:16:14,353
How many cockroaches you got in
your kitchen? 400? 500?

1353
01:16:14,424 --> 01:16:15,755
I no have 400 cockroaches!

1354
01:16:15,825 --> 01:16:17,190
Fine, let's say 300.

1355
01:16:17,260 --> 01:16:19,854
How long it's been
since you clean your chopstick?

1356
01:16:21,731 --> 01:16:23,722
Board of Health gets very mad at this.

1357
01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:24,824
Board of Health?

1358
01:16:24,901 --> 01:16:28,200
That's why we're here, to give you
protection. We're with the FBI.

1359
01:16:28,571 --> 01:16:30,698
Fish Protectors Incorporated.

1360
01:16:30,774 --> 01:16:32,867
Fish Protector, FPI.

1361
01:16:32,942 --> 01:16:35,103
What do you want, spelling or protection?

1362
01:16:39,883 --> 01:16:42,147
What's the matter?
You want to dance or something?

1363
01:16:42,218 --> 01:16:45,585
No, I just nervous.
I nervous about the Halibut Mob.

1364
01:16:45,655 --> 01:16:48,021
They come from Macao with
a big load of smelt.

1365
01:16:48,091 --> 01:16:49,456
Smelt?

1366
01:16:50,360 --> 01:16:52,794
- You smell smelt here?
- No smell smelt.

1367
01:16:52,862 --> 01:16:55,888
You no smell smelt?
Of all the smelt I ever smelled...

1368
01:16:55,965 --> 01:16:59,128
...this is the schmeltiest schmeller
of the year.

1369
01:17:00,036 --> 01:17:01,333
I no smell smelt.

1370
01:17:01,404 --> 01:17:04,737
You don't? Well, there's something
wrong with your schmelt schmeller.

1371
01:17:04,808 --> 01:17:07,208
There's something funny here.

1372
01:17:07,277 --> 01:17:09,837
How come you dress like Chinee?
You no Chinee.

1373
01:17:09,913 --> 01:17:11,676
- I no Chinee?
- You no look Chinee.

1374
01:17:11,748 --> 01:17:13,773
What you say, I no look Chinee?

1375
01:17:13,850 --> 01:17:15,784
Your eye and hair no look Chinee.

1376
01:17:15,852 --> 01:17:19,481
I have operation, very expensive.
I have eye fix, push-in.

1377
01:17:19,556 --> 01:17:21,023
And I have hair fix.

1378
01:17:21,090 --> 01:17:23,081
Should have nose fix.

1379
01:17:23,159 --> 01:17:25,923
You stick to your cockroaches,
you understand?

1380
01:17:27,363 --> 01:17:29,661
Hey, the boat's loaded. Let's sail.

1381
01:17:29,732 --> 01:17:31,757
Don't get your protection from anybody else.

1382
01:17:31,835 --> 01:17:33,735
Hey, you steal my fish!

1383
01:17:40,443 --> 01:17:42,638
There they are. Come on!

1384
01:17:45,248 --> 01:17:46,306
Come. This way!

1385
01:17:46,382 --> 01:17:48,009
- We're cooked.
- The end of the road.

1386
01:17:48,084 --> 01:17:49,449
No way out.

1387
01:17:51,221 --> 01:17:53,348
- You hear what I hear?
- It's Dorothy Lamour!

1388
01:17:53,423 --> 01:17:54,981
- She'll get us out.
- You think so?

1389
01:17:55,058 --> 01:17:58,221
Certainly. You can't finish
the picture in the alley. Come on!

1390
01:18:01,798 --> 01:18:04,733
Okay, fella. Just looking for somebody.

1391
01:18:05,735 --> 01:18:07,760
There she is. Dottie!

1392
01:18:07,837 --> 01:18:11,295
Well, boys! What in the world
are you doing over here in Hong Kong?

1393
01:18:11,374 --> 01:18:12,398
We're in a terrible jam.

1394
01:18:12,475 --> 01:18:14,272
Help us. Some guys are chasing us.

1395
01:18:14,344 --> 01:18:18,041
Killers. If you don't save us,
there'll be blood all over the screen.

1396
01:18:18,114 --> 01:18:20,344
Don't fight it. Look
what it did for Spartacus.

1397
01:18:20,416 --> 01:18:22,281
You've got to help us, we're still pals.

1398
01:18:22,352 --> 01:18:24,547
You can't forget the pictures
we made together!

1399
01:18:24,621 --> 01:18:27,681
Neither can anyone else.
That's why I'm working over here!

1400
01:18:33,963 --> 01:18:35,692
They sure don't look like chorus boys!

1401
01:18:35,765 --> 01:18:37,699
Those guys mean business. They're killers.

1402
01:18:37,767 --> 01:18:39,564
Besides that, they're unfriendly.

1403
01:18:40,904 --> 01:18:42,667
You see, the key is in the fish.

1404
01:18:42,739 --> 01:18:46,038
We're trying to get to the locker,
and we've got the formula...

1405
01:18:46,109 --> 01:18:48,100
Wait a minute!

1406
01:18:48,778 --> 01:18:52,077
Is that the plot of the picture so far?
I'd better hide you.

1407
01:18:52,148 --> 01:18:54,048
- From the killers?
- From the critics.

1408
01:18:54,117 --> 01:18:56,950
Come on, there's only one safe place.
On stage.

1409
01:18:57,020 --> 01:18:59,079
Come on, get dressed.

1410
01:18:59,155 --> 01:19:01,749
- Right in there.
- Yeah, in there.

1411
01:19:03,026 --> 01:19:05,324
You never want to have any fun!

1412
01:19:06,062 --> 01:19:07,825
Check the front of the house.

1413
01:19:23,980 --> 01:19:27,916
"The world is a shimmering thing"

1414
01:19:27,984 --> 01:19:31,977
"My lover is hastening to me"

1415
01:19:32,055 --> 01:19:35,786
"The night is a glimmering thing"

1416
01:19:35,858 --> 01:19:40,488
"And I, the envy of all who view me"

1417
01:19:41,264 --> 01:19:46,258
"Soon the music will start"

1418
01:19:50,340 --> 01:19:53,503
"Is that the door"

1419
01:19:55,011 --> 01:19:57,775
"Or my heart?"

1420
01:20:43,192 --> 01:20:47,993
"You smile that angel smile at me"

1421
01:20:48,064 --> 01:20:49,326
"And presto!"

1422
01:20:49,399 --> 01:20:51,560
"There's that chemistry"

1423
01:20:51,634 --> 01:20:54,626
"I'm warmer than a whisper"

1424
01:20:57,073 --> 01:21:00,474
"I don't know what it is you do"

1425
01:21:00,543 --> 01:21:03,944
"But every time I'm close to you"

1426
01:21:04,013 --> 01:21:07,847
"I'm warmer than a whisper"

1427
01:21:10,453 --> 01:21:15,447
"On the outside it could be December"

1428
01:21:15,858 --> 01:21:19,954
"Winter just having its fling"

1429
01:21:22,865 --> 01:21:27,859
"But you've got me glowing like an ember"

1430
01:21:28,404 --> 01:21:33,103
"For here in your arms, it's spring"

1431
01:21:34,310 --> 01:21:37,302
"And when you bring your lips to mine"

1432
01:21:37,380 --> 01:21:40,975
"I'm blushing like a valentine"

1433
01:21:41,517 --> 01:21:44,509
"And sighing like a willow"

1434
01:21:46,722 --> 01:21:49,987
"Although it sounds a bit insane"

1435
01:21:50,059 --> 01:21:55,053
"I'm misty just like summer rain"

1436
01:21:55,798 --> 01:21:57,265
"From above"

1437
01:22:03,573 --> 01:22:08,567
"If they ask me to explain the magic"

1438
01:22:08,878 --> 01:22:13,872
"The wonders your kisses perform"

1439
01:22:14,784 --> 01:22:18,413
"I'll simply say it's always May"

1440
01:22:18,488 --> 01:22:21,423
"So let the winds get crisper"

1441
01:22:21,491 --> 01:22:24,483
"I'm warmer than a whisper"

1442
01:22:24,560 --> 01:22:27,654
"And all because you whisper"

1443
01:22:27,730 --> 01:22:30,722
"I'm warmer than a whisper"

1444
01:22:30,800 --> 01:22:35,567
"And all because you whisper of love"

1445
01:22:50,887 --> 01:22:55,881
"On the outside it could be December"

1446
01:22:55,958 --> 01:23:00,895
"Winter just having its fling"

1447
01:23:01,130 --> 01:23:06,124
"But you've got me glowing like an ember"

1448
01:23:06,369 --> 01:23:11,363
"For here in your arms it's spring"

1449
01:23:13,509 --> 01:23:18,503
"The thrust propellant's ratio
to atmospheric density"

1450
01:23:18,614 --> 01:23:20,775
"Is 6-4-3-2-7"

1451
01:23:20,850 --> 01:23:24,286
Operator, this is an emergency.
Get the American Security Headquarters!

1452
01:23:24,353 --> 01:23:28,380
"Specific gravitation has a pull
that is equivalent"

1453
01:23:28,457 --> 01:23:30,755
"To 9-3-5-11"

1454
01:23:30,826 --> 01:23:33,852
But he's giving the formula to them now.
Listen!

1455
01:23:33,930 --> 01:23:37,832
"For the final setting of the mixture"

1456
01:23:37,900 --> 01:23:41,597
"Add hydrogen 6-2, and then"

1457
01:23:43,039 --> 01:23:47,840
"The rocket's ready now to blast off
Set ignition lever"

1458
01:23:47,910 --> 01:23:51,937
"And start the final countdown from 10"

1459
01:24:03,125 --> 01:24:06,754
Come on, no.
Come on, before they blow up the world!

1460
01:24:06,829 --> 01:24:08,421
- What world?
- You sang the formula!

1461
01:24:08,497 --> 01:24:10,260
- I did?
- Yes, and in my key!

1462
01:24:10,333 --> 01:24:13,166
- No!
- Yes, a little flat, too, you copycat.

1463
01:24:14,670 --> 01:24:17,138
Come on, get in there
where I hung your clothes up.

1464
01:24:17,206 --> 01:24:19,071
- Hurry up!
- It's dark in here!

1465
01:24:19,141 --> 01:24:21,200
Watch the window. See if the coast is clear.

1466
01:24:21,277 --> 01:24:23,871
- Okay.
- You've got the coldest hands.

1467
01:24:25,047 --> 01:24:27,982
They're driving off in their cars now.
You'd better hurry.

1468
01:24:33,823 --> 01:24:35,654
Sweet Leilani!

1469
01:24:35,725 --> 01:24:39,183
- Well, Bloody Mary!
- You look so funny.

1470
01:24:41,063 --> 01:24:42,792
You're choking me!

1471
01:24:42,865 --> 01:24:44,526
Let's change into our right clothes.

1472
01:24:44,600 --> 01:24:46,591
You won't have time! Change in the car.

1473
01:24:46,669 --> 01:24:49,729
- What car?
- Mine. A tan Buick, outside.

1474
01:24:49,805 --> 01:24:51,568
Honey, we'll never forget you for this!

1475
01:24:51,641 --> 01:24:52,767
Call on us anytime.

1476
01:24:52,842 --> 01:24:55,242
The next time I need fresh fish.

1477
01:24:55,945 --> 01:24:58,505
We'll have these cleaned and send them back.

1478
01:25:03,786 --> 01:25:06,778
What's the matter?
Didn't you ever see a Buick before?

1479
01:25:09,458 --> 01:25:10,584
It's absolute madness!

1480
01:25:10,660 --> 01:25:11,684
You heard what he said.

1481
01:25:11,761 --> 01:25:14,821
They've got the formula.
We've got to stop that rocket.

1482
01:25:15,598 --> 01:25:17,896
Two cars. You lead the way!

1483
01:25:26,976 --> 01:25:29,103
Gentlemen, I wish you the best of luck.

1484
01:25:29,178 --> 01:25:32,739
The rocket is ready for countdown.
We await only the formula.

1485
01:25:32,815 --> 01:25:33,804
Sir, I have it!

1486
01:25:33,883 --> 01:25:35,510
- The formula?
- Every word complete.

1487
01:25:35,584 --> 01:25:37,814
How long will it take to adjust
the fuel mixture?

1488
01:25:37,887 --> 01:25:39,252
- A matter of seconds.
- Very well.

1489
01:25:39,322 --> 01:25:41,449
In a few moments, you will enter the rocket.

1490
01:25:41,524 --> 01:25:44,118
I shall trigger the bombs from here.

1491
01:25:44,193 --> 01:25:46,320
- All set!
- Take your position in the rocket.

1492
01:25:46,395 --> 01:25:50,024
- Not today, Porky!
- Not on your sister's cat's lavaliere!

1493
01:25:54,704 --> 01:25:56,069
Hey, wait!

1494
01:25:59,442 --> 01:26:00,841
Get them!

1495
01:26:22,598 --> 01:26:24,691
Thank heavens, you're safe!

1496
01:26:25,468 --> 01:26:27,333
Hey, wait a minute!

1497
01:26:33,843 --> 01:26:35,970
Get away from that panel!

1498
01:26:52,528 --> 01:26:55,224
Do something!
That rocket's loaded with atomic bombs!

1499
01:26:57,633 --> 01:26:59,897
Sorry, sir. Can't do a thing.

1500
01:27:09,445 --> 01:27:12,414
We've got to change course
or we'll blow up the world!

1501
01:27:13,215 --> 01:27:14,614
Help me!

1502
01:27:23,259 --> 01:27:24,453
They've turned it.

1503
01:27:25,194 --> 01:27:28,027
- Look! They're heading for another planet!
- Yes. Plutonius.

1504
01:27:28,097 --> 01:27:31,533
- Plutonius? Can they live there?
- Possible.

1505
01:27:31,600 --> 01:27:34,330
Is there any chance of
ever getting them back again?

1506
01:27:34,403 --> 01:27:35,870
Not a chance.

1507
01:27:36,505 --> 01:27:39,736
I'm afraid they'll be there
for the rest of their natural lives.

1508
01:27:40,609 --> 01:27:44,170
Well, all we can do then is wish them luck.

1509
01:27:49,185 --> 01:27:53,121
Nothing but rocks.
What a spot for an Irish picnic!

1510
01:27:53,722 --> 01:27:57,317
Lots of fresh water up there.
Crazy looking plants.

1511
01:27:57,793 --> 01:28:00,762
Outside of that, Nothingville, South Dakota.

1512
01:28:02,131 --> 01:28:05,794
- So here we are, stuck for life.
- Just the three of us.

1513
01:28:06,635 --> 01:28:08,262
At least we'll survive.

1514
01:28:08,337 --> 01:28:11,431
We've got everything we need,
water, sunshine, food.

1515
01:28:11,507 --> 01:28:14,999
- Everything except people.
- Correction. I have people.

1516
01:28:15,077 --> 01:28:17,045
No, drop the candy counter.

1517
01:28:17,112 --> 01:28:18,170
Where are you going?

1518
01:28:18,247 --> 01:28:19,737
You'll find something female.

1519
01:28:19,815 --> 01:28:22,079
Some attractive plant life,
some friendly grass.

1520
01:28:22,151 --> 01:28:23,482
Why don't you go climb a peak?

1521
01:28:23,552 --> 01:28:26,680
Climb a peak, see if you can flag down
a gooney bird or something.

1522
01:28:28,724 --> 01:28:29,816
Don't tear it!

1523
01:28:29,892 --> 01:28:32,053
Wait a minute!

1524
01:28:32,127 --> 01:28:34,721
There must be some sensible
solution to this problem.

1525
01:28:34,797 --> 01:28:37,061
Well, of course there is!
Two fellas, one girl.

1526
01:28:37,132 --> 01:28:39,464
Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays,
you come to my house.

1527
01:28:39,535 --> 01:28:42,095
Yes. Tuesdays, Thursdays
and Saturdays, my house.

1528
01:28:42,538 --> 01:28:45,006
- What about Sunday?
- Everybody rests.

1529
01:28:46,709 --> 01:28:49,143
Yes, that housework is murder.

1530
01:28:49,778 --> 01:28:51,871
I'm not sure I quite understand.

1531
01:28:51,947 --> 01:28:54,074
Really, it's all very simple.

1532
01:28:54,917 --> 01:28:59,013
"We three wind up together, it's teamwork!"

1533
01:28:59,455 --> 01:29:03,721
"In foul or sunny weather, it's teamwork!"

1534
01:29:03,993 --> 01:29:07,690
"This strange Design for Living
does not seem right"

1535
01:29:07,763 --> 01:29:09,628
"It's gonna take teamwork"

1536
01:29:09,999 --> 01:29:11,899
"Day and night"

1537
01:29:11,967 --> 01:29:16,563
"'Cause you're a pal, this time
we share the gal"

1538
01:29:16,639 --> 01:29:18,698
"You've lifted my morale"

1539
01:29:18,774 --> 01:29:20,503
"Can it be done?"

1540
01:29:20,576 --> 01:29:22,168
"And what fun!"

1541
01:29:22,244 --> 01:29:26,704
"The team is now a trio, it's teamwork!"

1542
01:29:27,016 --> 01:29:31,043
"Two Caesars, and one Cleo, it's teamwork!"

1543
01:29:31,120 --> 01:29:35,216
"This time it's 50-50 like friend to friend"

1544
01:29:35,291 --> 01:29:37,122
"It's gonna be teamwork!"

1545
01:29:37,192 --> 01:29:39,626
"That peaches-and-cream work"

1546
01:29:39,695 --> 01:29:41,720
"That makes-your-eyes-gleam work"

1547
01:29:41,797 --> 01:29:44,095
"That doesn't quite seem work"

1548
01:29:44,166 --> 01:29:46,293
"That right-on-the-beam work"

1549
01:29:46,368 --> 01:29:47,995
Look it here!

1550
01:29:50,606 --> 01:29:51,732
Next.

1551
01:29:53,776 --> 01:29:55,539
The Italians have landed!

1552
01:29:55,611 --> 01:29:58,512
- That's the grape and the twig.
- And they've got the bar open.

1553
01:29:58,581 --> 01:30:00,515
Let's break it up, those tourists!

1554
01:30:00,783 --> 01:30:02,978
What's going on here?

1555
01:30:03,052 --> 01:30:04,849
What are you guys doing here?

1556
01:30:04,920 --> 01:30:07,912
This is a local stop, isn't it?
Just dropped by to refuel.

1557
01:30:07,990 --> 01:30:11,391
We heard you're stuck for an end,
so we'll pull a few threads together.

1558
01:30:11,460 --> 01:30:13,485
Do it on your own loom.

1559
01:30:13,562 --> 01:30:16,861
Say, this is a lost planet.
How did you guys get here?

1560
01:30:16,932 --> 01:30:18,365
Special Effects.

1561
01:30:19,468 --> 01:30:23,336
Special Effects! How long are
you fixing to stay?

1562
01:30:23,405 --> 01:30:25,032
Haven't even thought about it.

1563
01:30:25,407 --> 01:30:27,705
- Shall we think about it?
- Let's.

1564
01:30:27,876 --> 01:30:31,368
That's long enough! Hey, Special Effects!

1565
01:30:36,752 --> 01:30:40,654
"I said it's 50-50, like friend to friend"

1566
01:30:40,723 --> 01:30:42,623
"It's gonna be teamwork!"

1567
01:30:42,691 --> 01:30:44,625
"That peaches-and-cream work!"

1568
01:30:44,693 --> 01:30:47,218
"You can't beat that teamwork"

1569
01:30:47,296 --> 01:30:49,196
"Two fellas with teamwork"

1570
01:30:49,264 --> 01:30:51,562
"Those buddies with teamwork"

1571
01:30:51,634 --> 01:30:53,864
"Two chappies with teamwork"

1572
01:30:54,336 --> 01:30:58,136
Hey, wait! Wait a minute!
Remember what we said?

1573
01:30:58,941 --> 01:31:01,273
Look, you got your 80, at least give me 20!

1574
01:31:01,343 --> 01:31:03,106
Hey, breathe awhile.

1575
01:31:03,178 --> 01:31:06,272
Hey, you, the phone,
you're wanted on the phone.

1576
01:31:06,348 --> 01:31:07,975
Special Effects!

1577
01:31:08,684 --> 01:31:11,551
No! Not me! Him, you fool!

1578
01:31:11,620 --> 01:31:13,918
How many times have I told you?

1579
01:31:14,790 --> 01:31:17,054
"You gotta have teamwork"

1580
01:31:17,126 --> 01:31:19,117
"That peaches-and-cream work"

1581
01:31:19,194 --> 01:31:24,154
"You gotta have teamwork to the end"